2 Movie Weekend

protests and popcorn

So this weekend I saw two films. On Friday evening I saw Poseiden on the IMAX and then I saw DaVinci Code on Saturday.

POSEIDON

Where to begin with this film. The effects are good, but not great. It helped seeing it on the IMAX, but that just made the dialogue enormously bad. And when a filmaker wants to cast Josh Lucas, they should not use his name, but rather, they should be required to label him, “We Wanted Matthew McConoughy But He Was Doing Another Shitty Romantic Comedy.”

Secondly, for me, whenever I see Kurt Russel I think that some studio needs to cast him and Dennis Quaid in a film called “Rugged White Men Who Almost Became A-List Actors.”

Thirdly, Kevin Dillon cannot act, unless he is Johnny Drama on Entourage. I love his character on Entourage, but his brief performance in Poseidon is one of the worst performances in film history, along with the kid in Over the Top and Sofia Coppola in Godfather III.

Lastly, in Poseidon approximately 6 of 2000 people on the boat survive the disaster (sorry to spoil it, but when a movie is not good I do not feel bad about spoiling). The worst part is you end the movie wishing the other 6 had died.

Grade – C-

THE DAVINCI CODE

I arrived at the theater to protests. Some had funny signs:

“Dan Brown sold out for 30 silver pieces”

“Only Catholics go to Heaven”

I told them that I did not know Over the Hedge was such a controversial film, but I am Catholic so no harm, no foul.

The movie was interesting and aroused deep concerns for me. It raised a fundamental question about a very large, powerful group in this country. The book and movie claim that Mary Magdelene, known as the Bible’s official prostitute, had a kid with Jesus. And they were married.

Where has the outcry been from the Hip Hop community?

A popular mantra of hip hop has always been “You can’t make a ho a housewife.” And here comes Dan Brown claiming that the most famous Ho in history was a housewife. Think about the turmoil the platinum-and-diamond crucifix industry will go through with this news.

Just imagine an industry built upon the degredation of women as a foundational element of its success learning now that one of its cornerstones was baking bread and having a kid! Videos like Big Pimpin; will have no more meaning. All those bikini clad women will have to be re-cast in tasteful clothing doing chores and balancing check books. Album sales would plummet. White suburban kids would have no idea who to imitate.

The movie was pretty good (B+), but like Michael Moore films and Fox News, the people worldwide are basically just flocking to a fictional film (second biggest opening world wide) to seek a factual basis to their support their faith that faith is not real. I would never do that.

Now I have to get back to watching Passion of the Christ.


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