HBO

The beginning of the end?

Not so long ago Sundays belonged to HBO. Between The Sopranos (seasons 1-5), Sex and the City (which paved the way for other “empowered” qwhoretets like Desperate Housewives, which I maintain is why terrorists hate us for our freedom), Entourage, The Wire, Rome, Deadwood, etc. HBO was so dominant that even Arliss, the worst show ever made, lasted around 5 seasons. But now 2006 may mark the end of HBO’s dominance.

The Sopranos has failed to beat the Houswives like Bada Bing strippers (“First of all Tony, she was a who-uhre” – Season 3 – Ralphie if you don’t know). And the Sopranos has sucked this year. Did David Chase get fooled by Brokeback Mountain into thinking that the driving plot of the season should be how mobsters deal with homosexuals? And, unlike many of my friends, I enjoyed the Tony in a coma part, but with an understanding that the season would go somewhere. Awful work by the Sopranos. This season was the Artie Buco of the 6 seasons, an annoying waste of time. And to make us wait 2 years for it is criminal.

That brings us to Deadwood – HBO’s second best show (now that the Sopranos is languishing in the Carnivale territory). HBO recently announced that Deadwood may be ending after this season. Just when you thought cunt and cocksucker finally found a home in mainstream America, there they go taking it away. Ian McShane is tremendous as Al Swearenjen, funny, vicious and the best voice on tv (Hugo Weaving – best voice in movies – Agent Smith, Elrond). Furthermore, great supporting cast, led by Timothy Olyphant, who plays Seth Bullock, or as I like to think of him – Michael Biehn, if Michael Biehn could act (The Abyss, The Rock, Terminator 1-his only good performance). It would be a huge mistake to cancel Deadwood.

That takes us to The Wire, simply the best show on tv. I have nothing really to say about it. They gave The Wire a Season 4 (fall ’06) as a gift for its quality, but Season 4 stands a very good chance of being the last. That would mean that 2006 would be the death of The Sopranos (8 episodes in Jan/Feb ’07 notwithstanding because it may have killed itself with the past 11 weeks), Deadwood and The Wire. That would be like telling Disney that it had to destroy the prints of The Lion King, Aladdin and Beauty and the Beast. Horrible indeed.

That leaves HBO with Rome, Big Love, Entoruage and Dane Cook’s Tourgasm. HBO I appreciate the effort with Tourgasm, but it may be overkill putting a show about 4 comedy buddies touring the country having fun, getting chicks, being famous right after Entoruage, a show about 4 acting buddies touring the country having fun, getting chicks, being famous. We get it, being young and famous is cool. But needless to say I will be watching both, but under my alternative title of “The Jeremy Piven/Gary Gulman Comedy Hour.”

Rome was an excellent addition to HBO (coming back in ’07), and the world of full frontal male and female nudity on primetime tv (think Real Sex with british accents and blood), but with the death of Julius Caesar, the show could go good or bad from here.

Big Love. Have not watched it yet, but the ads intrigued me a negative amount. At best it could be a Six Feet Under, a decent show that I don’t watch.

It just hurts to see a network that has been far and away the best on tv losing a substantial amnount of quality and wathcing shows like “Lost” and “Desperate Housewives” and “CSI” dominate the ratings. I used to be able to say, “Ha you stupid people who watch only network crap.” Or, “Ha, you poor people who cannot afford HBO.” Now, if HBO keeps it up, the networks will be better.

So HBO – keep The Wire and Deadwood for ’07/’08. let the Sopranos die with dignity, not with a pool cue up its ass. And if you have to, bring back Sex and the City, so women will know that if you want to be insecure whores with shitty dialogue you don’t do it in the suburbs. You do it in the city.

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