V Day vs. NBA

What dude scheduled this conflict?

NBA All Star Saturday is this Saturday, which also happens to be Valentine’s Day, the result of a conspiracy between women, Victoria’s Secret and Hallmark.  Now if you think Valentine’s Day, a day of purported romance and the NBA, an organization that almost changed its name to Fathers Anonymous in the mid 1990s, would make a strange pairing, you’d be correct.

Anyone that has ever been around an All Star weekend can tell that although romance may not be in the air, love making and more importantly, conception, is definitely on the mind of many festivity attendees.  Not withstanding that, putting the All Star weekend to coincide with Valentine’s Day is a bad move for men, which mean some guy at the NBA actually decided to schedule this.  Memo to the NBA: Stop letting the scheduling guy listen to Kanye West’s Heartless when he is setting the All Star schedule.  Perhaps he thought he was scheduling the WNBA All Star Game, which would make sense since there is a much greater chance that those dudes are dating each other (call it an unfair assumption, but since most of the WNBA are manly giants it seems like their workplace is their best bet on meeting a significant other).

For guys it’s a lose-lose situation.  Let’s assume your girlfriend wife does not want to watch the dunk contest, 3 point shoot-out, H.O.R.S.E. and skill competition.  That would make her normal since these competitions are usually a disappointment, but that does not matter.  You will either be out to dinner wishing you could watch these events, or if you don’t there’s a 50/50 chance your lady will assume you want to watch these events and will eye you with suspicion and contempt.

But let’s say your lady is an NBA fan or just kind enough to watch some of the events with you (beware of the trap “sure we can watch that”, which will become “I can’t believe you MADE me watch that” in your next fight post Valentine’s Day).  How long before she asks you, “Why aren’t your shoulders like that Dwight Howard guy’s?” To boot, if you are not black, Valentine’s Day would be a bad time to learn that your girlfriend or wife has a black guy fetish.