Saturday night I travelled with two buddies and fellow comedians Jim Dodge and, as of Tuesday at 6pm on the Game Show Network,Newlywed Show contestant Pat Breslin. Both of them are Philadelphia 76er fans and we went to the game last year (along with approximately 50 other people in the emptiest arena ever for a professional, non-WNBA sporting event. The Jazz won easily. But this year I had a lot more concern. The jazz had lost three straight games to the Wizards (awful), the Nets (more awful) and the Celtics (respectable, but awful because of the previous two losses). After seeing the Jazz go 5-0 in the five games I attended last year I was unsure if they could stop from going 0-3, even if the 76ers suck. My concern was well founded.
The Jazz sucked something awful. They are playing basketball with the same enthusiasm that I send out booking e-mails. Despite rooting for the team since I was 7 I am pretty much ready to write off this season. However I was still trying to figure out the possible reason for the incredibly awful play of the Jazz. Is it because I am a Yankee fan and at some point one has to pay a price for rooting for the Goldman Sachs of sports? Probably not. Or is it the fact that I am a Pittsburgh Steeler fan? Is a 4 game losing streak the price to pay for rooting for a rapist to win one playoff game? Maybe – what I fear is that it may be a mathematical equation then. Perhaps x = number of rape allegations and you raise that to y, which is the number of playoff wins you want? So if the bye week counts as 1 playoff win and the Steelers win against the Ravens is another then that would explain a 4 game losing streak.
X(Roethlisberger sex assault allegations) to the Y(Steeler playoff wins needed) power = number of Jazz losses
So bad news for Jazz fans, I am rooting for a 16 game losing streak. The bad news is it looks like that is definitely possible the way they are playing. The good news is the Steelers 7th Super Bowl is looking more and more likely. The Jazz are at the Lakers for their next game.