Utah Jazz Week Journal Part 3: Is Rooting For…

Saturday night I travelled with two buddies and fellow comedians Jim Dodge and, as of Tuesday at 6pm on the Game Show Network,Newlywed Show contestant Pat Breslin.  Both of them are Philadelphia 76er fans and we went to the game last year (along with approximately 50 other people in the emptiest arena ever for a professional, non-WNBA sporting event.  The Jazz won easily.  But this year I had a lot more concern.  The jazz had lost three straight games to the Wizards (awful), the Nets (more awful) and the Celtics (respectable, but awful because of the previous two losses).  After seeing the Jazz go 5-0 in the five games I attended last year I was unsure if they could stop from going 0-3, even if the 76ers suck.  My concern was well founded.

This is the only image I saw this week that had a member of the Utah Jazz doing anything with authority.

The Jazz sucked something awful.  They are playing basketball with the same enthusiasm that I send out booking e-mails.  Despite rooting for the team since I was 7 I am pretty much ready to write off this season.  However I was still trying to figure out the possible reason for the incredibly awful play of the Jazz.  Is it because I am a Yankee fan and at some point one has to pay a price for rooting for the Goldman Sachs of sports?  Probably not.  Or is it the fact that I am a Pittsburgh Steeler fan?  Is a 4 game losing streak the price to pay for rooting for a rapist to win one playoff game?  Maybe – what I fear is that it may be a mathematical equation then.  Perhaps x = number of rape allegations and you raise that to y, which is the number of playoff wins you want?  So if the bye week counts as 1 playoff win and the Steelers win against the Ravens is another then that would explain a 4 game losing streak.

X(Roethlisberger sex assault allegations) to the Y(Steeler playoff wins needed) power = number of Jazz losses

So bad news for Jazz fans, I am rooting for a 16 game losing streak.  The bad news is it looks like that is definitely possible the way they are playing.  The good news is the Steelers 7th Super Bowl is looking more and more likely.  The Jazz are at the Lakers for their next game.

Rooting for his team may be costing my other teams a lot in the karma department.
3 COMMENTS
  • Figure It Out...
    Reply

    This is typical Tea Party thinking: Blame the people who aren’t really responsible. It’s not that the Jazz are bad, it’s JL’s rooting for the Steelers that’s to blame for the Jazz’s terrible play.

    The Utah Jazz organization is responsible for this mess. They gave away Eric Maynor, who’s playing great for OKC, for peanuts. They gave away Ronnie Brewer for chicken feed. They chose not to pay to keep Boozer and Korver, among others.

    Championship organizations keep the people who produce for them. The Utah Jazz do not…

    PS – I tried to keep this e-mail short so you could watch all of the Eric Kantor interview on “Meet The Press” today…

    1. J-L Cauvin
      Reply

      They could not keep Boozer, you are only now supporting Korver because he is no longer a member of the Jazz and Ronnie Brewer is not that good at the sport of basketball (he is among about a dozen role players who play better under Sloan than in other circumstances). Utah’s biggest problem is the stigmas associated with Utah (I look forward to your Derek Fisher et. al response) – difficult to make it as attractive to urban African-American males versus other markets. The Spurs are the exception to the rule that major media markets generally field the best, consistent chances to win in the NBA.

      Wait – i Thought this message was from Eric Cantor (thought you could throw me off by spelling your name wrong – good try). I know the tone of a smarmy, beltway, member of the tribe anytime.

  • Figure It Out...
    Reply

    Let’s see – This year the Jazz decided not to draft Eric Bledsoe, Greivis Vasquez and Ed Davis, just to name a few players. Instead they took Gordon Hayward (aka “DNP – Recording Session”), who’s hasn’t had any impact for the Jazz. Last year, they passed on Patty Mills to take Goran Suton. They also could have had Darren Collison or Taj Gibson in the first round…

    You, Eric Cantor and David Duke may try to make up some big phony Negro conspiracy to lay blame for Utah’s shortcomings. The unfortunate but true answer is that the Jazz’s own poor decision-making, like George Wallace’s, is the reason for their irrelevance…

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