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Well folks, I was going to write a hilarious write up about my night at the Black Bear Casino in Carlton, MN. But that will have to wait until a Monday Mega Minnesota (MMM) recap because TODAY MY NEW STAND UP ALBUM IS OUT! Reviews should start to come in soon, but take my word for it – it is excellent. Buy it here.
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The Dave Chappelle incident in Hartford has brought heckling and its place in stand up comedy into the spotlight again. Well to help improve, if not settle the debate, there is now a video on the Internet that promises to help people become better hecklers to improve the comedy club experience. Watch it and share:
For more opinions, comedy and bridge burning check out the Righteous Prick Podcast on Podomatic or iTunes. New Every Tuesday! This week’s episode – a debate/discussion about paying college athletes.
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I know 9/11 is the date we are supposed to Never Forget, but I would like to add four dates (they all take place in September so it should be easy) that you should put in your calendar:
September 17th – The debut of Tim and Aaron. The pilot for CBS I shot this weekend, which takes place in a fictional world where accused murderer/tight end Aaron Hernandez is left under house arrest with unemployed Quarterback/2nd Coming Tim Tebow. It is outstanding and will definitely be a big hit. Here is the promotional shot for it:
September 23rd – this is when Dumb in the First Degree is supposed to finally launch on InvestigationDiscovery.com. This is the web series where I co-host offering legal knowledge wrapped in humorous attitude. It was a lot of fun to make so hopefully they did not make me look like a (bigger) a-hole in post-production.
September 24th – Keep My Enemies Closer comes out on iTunes and other digital distributors. This is the big one folks. Buy it for yourself, for friends, leave nice reviews and spread the word.
September 30th – Heckler Seminar, my second September sketch comes out. This is a great compliment to my well-received (within the comedy world) video Scared Straight. It is an infomercial showing hecklers how to become better and dominate the comedy club experience.
So for two weeks I hope you can spare some attention, some shares/retweets/likes and a little bit of money. Also – I guess I should have included September 29th – Breaking Bad finale as one of the dates.
For more opinions, comedy and bridge burning check out the Righteous Prick Podcast on Podomatic or iTunes. New Every Tuesday! This week’s episode – a debate/discussion about paying college athletes.
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It is September and there is already bad news on my distraction front; the Yankees are tanking down the stretch (I don’t know how a horrible bullpen can be blamed on Alex Rodriguez, but I am sure the front-running masses of Yankee nation are trying to develop a theory); the Pittsburgh Steelers scored only 2 more points than me this Sunday to kick off what will probably be their worst season since the 1980s; and I finished Orange is the New Black on Netflix, a surprisingly enjoyable series that I found much more watchable than House of Cards, probably because of the lack of a syrupy Kevin Spacey southern accent (though I am going to give it another shot). However, the 2013 plan of mine that started in April with the launch of my Louis CK parody video is now reaching its crescendo. Here are some things I hope you will support, stay tuned for, etc. in the next couple of weeks:
Let’s hope October is a celebration of a good September.
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Taking a much needed break from not getting booking e-mails replied to, I have ventured an hour north of the city to accompany my father on a three day mini-vacation to Bear Mountain, NY. Being that he is 82 years old and not getting around very well the trip represents a feasible way for him to escape the apartment and get a bit of nature. It also gives my Mom a three day break, or at least time to workshop some material before my parents’ next argument. But with my Dad’s memory resembling the guy in Memento, his gait to the bathroom resembling Beyoncé’s single ladies dance in 1/10000th the speed and his countenance resembling a near-bald, older Morgan Freeman (and me looking like me) I think this trip would make for a great movie comedy script. However, with the two stars of the movie being 75% black I am not sure I should call Judd Apatow just yet. That said, I think I can get Tyler Perry interested.
There would be no shortage of older black actors he could cast as my Dad, though I am guessing I would also be replaced also, probably by a darker, more muscular man since Tyler Perry loves cross dressing and casting extremely muscular black men in his movies. But in no way should his intense embrace of Christian values, love of cross-dressing and admiration of extremely muscular black men indicate anything other than a healthy heterosexuality in accordance with the Lord’s wishes. So I am out of the movie and I am thinking a desperate Louis Gossett Jr. and an available Boris Kodjoe will play my father and me, respectively, in Tyler Perry’s 3 Day Trip with Dad. Here are the potential sources of humor that actually have happened combined with things that Tyler Perry could then add to the story and punch up with his trademark humor:
Well there it is, so I will continue to take notes in the final day and half of the trip and someone get me Tyler Perry’s contact info.
For more opinions, comedy and bridge burning check out the Righteous Prick Podcast on Podomatic or iTunes. New Every Tuesday! THIS WEEK’S EPISODE WAS A GREAT ONE ABOUT DAVE CHAPPELLE.
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I am not very good at promotion or business or anything else that is not actually comedy content. But I thought, maybe with the release of my new album I can incentivize some people to help me, in turn helping them. My album goes on digital sale September 24th. But I will have advance copies the first week of September and am willing to give ten away for free, shipping and handling included if you are one of the first ten people to get five friends to become followers of my podcast on Podomatic. Perhaps they are a friend who likes debate or humor, maybe they are a comedian who likes to hear unvarnished truth and criticism about the business, maybe they just want you to get a free CD. Whatever the case, share with a friend or friends an episode you think they would like to entice them to become a follower. (If you are already a follower or become a follower that can count as one towards your five). I want them to remain followers so sharing an episode you think they will like would help. Here are the simple steps:
I don’t know if this will work, but what the hell, right?
Ok – spread the word. Hope to give out some free copies.
For more opinions, comedy and bridge burning check out the Righteous Prick Podcast on Podomatic or iTunes. New Every Tuesday!
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As of today we are 36 days from the release of Keep My Enemies Closer, my new album that will either be a launching pad for the next phase of my comedy career or the epitaph on my comedy career tombstone. Either way it will be worth a buy and listen, preferably in that order. As the final touches are done on artwork and production before I start promoting the holy hell out of it I offer you my August JLComedy video of the month. I took this month off from impressions and skewering the comedy business to honor my favorite television show and character. If you are a fan of Breaking Bad you will get this and enjoy it. If not, just watch the fu*king thing as a show of support and mark your calendars to get on iTunes on September 24th. Here’s the video:
Just to show you that I still have a stalker who is willing to fight a sad and lonely fight. He has used a couple of false names on-line to draw attention away from the positive attention my work has been getting recently. Sadly when you post 9 consecutive hateful comments filled with information stated by me on my podcasts people do not actually think you are stirring a debate, but just in need of mental health assistance. So if you enjoyed the video and are looking forward to the album, thank you and here is an example of the kind of people who are REALLY excited about the album:
Oh yeah – on a positive note I have lost 11 pounds in my first 8 days on the Paleo diet so I hope “Claymaker” can one day by my friend!
For more opinions, comedy and bridge burning check out the Righteous Prick Podcast on Podomatic or iTunes. New Every Tuesday!
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Well this week has been an eventful one, even though I have not gotten the stage time I sought. First let’s start with the bad news – not one, but two CD producers have passed on marketing Keep My Enemies Closer. Upon listening to the album I was paid what I believe to be a compliment (but I could be wrong) from a producer saying “you seem to be the type that wants to blaze your own path…” However, it will have to be another guerrilla production by yours truly. Of course now I am armed with the best album of my career (by far), as well as a lot of increased exposure from various media forms, but it is still a disappointing, uphill climb to try and get bigger sales by pleading to be on podcasts, radio shows and hoping friends, fans and supporters get the word out (that’s your cue to get the word out). I realize when you Do It Yourself (which I thought was the new model of comedy) folks in the comedy album business do not want you (or at least are not as enthused). It seems the familiar model is they hook you up with upfront costs, bookings and recording equipment and then take a healthy slice of the sales money. Now to comedians in my position who have the chops, but not the cash, the upfront part of the deal is hard to resist. But I am doubly screwed because in addition to already handling all the upfront work (so no leverage for me to give up as much loot on the back end), this album is not easily molded into a role or a roster spot on a label. This album is if Giraldo and Patrice had a baby and then left the baby at an orphanage and it grew up angry. I am not accusing or suggesting anyone I pitched the album to had ulterior motives; maybe they just did not like it, but I give you my word as someone who tells you when I suck and tells you when I rock, this album is a fu*king beast. The set rocked both the comedians in attendance and the strangers that wandered in not knowing what to expect. And yes I know sharing my failures is not the best way to market an album, but this blog has always been truthful and I am telling you they are wrong (they may have valid reasons, but passing on this album is a mistake).
Tomorrow I film the promo video for the album (release date – 9/24/13), which if you know the following scene from Breaking Bad, should be very entertaining (or at last entertaining – I won’t be going make-up, etc. but the writing will be worth the watch):
But in other comedy news for fans or readers of mine, I am in the running for a web series movie review show (which would yield a nice weekly payday and free passes to movies, which would be a nice upgrade from unpaid and $14/week) and my web series with Discovery, Dumb in the First Degree (I offer humor and actual legal information regarding YouTube’s dumbest criminals), launches in two weeks, if not sooner. Lastly, I got a W-9 from Official Comedy, which means my clip from The Stand, recorded this past Sunday, will air on their channel soon. So that is the good news portion of the blog. Naturally it is short and without much editorial cheer. Probably because I am still owed $500 from a group of comedians I toured with.
As far as gigs I have spots Friday and Saturday (both 8pm) at the Creek and the Cave in Long island City, as well as a headlining performance at the Muslim Brotherhood’s “Day of Anger” Friday in Egypt. I think they want me to work clean, but to maintain my usual tone. But this week was bereft of gigs because a) I don’t have management; 2) I am a little fatigued from all the work I have been doing and most importantly 3) I am house sitting my 82 year old father. It is sort of like opening for him because everything from walking, to eating, to falling asleep I seem to do in less time and before him. My Dad was always left leaning, except on certain hot topics (think elderly black man from a third world country – not a Glee fan) and what is weird is now that he is a little more physically and mentally weakened from his peak he just sounds like a mix of Chris Matthews and Michele Bachmann in a Herman Cain body. Next week I will be selling highlight DVDs of my three day stint in Riverdale called Cane & Disabled.
For more opinions, comedy and bridge burning check out the Righteous Prick Podcast on Podomatic or iTunes. New Every Tuesday! This week’s episode was a fantastic one on stand up comedy with Josh Homer.
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For most readers of this blog it is not news or a shock that I have a podcast where I trash, or at least debate, popular, trendy or oversaturated things in our culture. As much as crushing them is fun, at least half the time it is not the thing itself, but the overwhelming and overdone reaction of fans to the thing in question that I am really trashing. I don’t hate cupcakes, to use an example of an early episode topic, just the way every bored chick with money in 2012 in Manhattan seemed to be opening up a cupcake store trying to out-cute and out-trendy the last week’s cupcake offering. And last night, as I saw how large the Breaking Bad fan base seemed to have grown on social media I feared Breaking Bad might suffer the same fate as many of my podcast topics: that the culture that now obsesses over something (or anything) as soon as it becomes cool would drain Breaking Bad of its cool from overuse and overexposure and in the process kill (or at least reduce) my joy in it (sort of like the old people in the movie Cocoon did to the cocoon).
I liked Breaking Bad when I could still tell people about it without annoying them (3-4 seasons ago). Now everyone who has caught up on Netflix in the last 8 weeks is preaching the Gospel with all the annoyance of a born again crystal meth Christian. I was not quite John The Baptist (that was comedian Nick Cobb for me who got me on the show after season 1 had aired), but I was a relatively early and outspoken fan, while the cool kids were still sucking Mad Men‘s balls (do you STILL think Mad Men is better????). But now it has become a “thing” which is when I start to hate stuff, even if it is not the stuff’s fault.
But guess what?
Breaking Bad is too good for social media or humans to ruin, no matter how hard they hashtag and pun their asses off about the show! This is the true sign of greatness – delivering the goods (which the final season premiere certainly did) while simultaneously withstanding the surrounding douchebaggery of trendiness that usually makes me hate something.
Congratulations Breaking Bad. You are truly great. Now I just hope there is not a mad rush to watch Six Feet Under by assholes.
Today’s post is short because I am conserving my energy. I just started the Paleo diet and will be bidding adieu to processed foods, potatoes of all kinds and desserts that are not fruit salad. So hopefully by January 1st I will have dropped 60 pounds or died because I will not be able to deal with any other outcome.
For more opinions, comedy and bridge burning check out the Righteous Prick Podcast on Podomatic or iTunes. New Every Tuesday!
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As a comedian (or as I prefer to downgrade myself – unpaid intern at comedy A/K/A The King of All Unpaid Media) I am pretty liberal with my Facebook friend add policy. I rarely seek anyone out, but when added I usually say yes. However, I have a few tests to not approve of you. The first is if I check out your page and all it contains are comments from other people – either posting on your page or thanking you for the friend request. That means you are not real. The second is if you are an attractive woman I have never met and are located in a place I have never been and if all your friends are men. The third is if there are only symbols in your name. One of the good ways to get me to click approve is if we have mutual friends and none of them are comedians (then you rate very high on the authentic human scale). Another good way is if we have a lot of friends in common (meaning comedian) then have a picture doing something funny or have some statuses that indicate a human being is operating the account. And of course proceeding a friend request with a “I think you are awesome” direct message leads to 100% of friend request acceptances. However, these simple guidelines do not create a perfect Facebook experience. This is because some people seemingly come in peace in “comedian” trojan horses; they offer an outward appearance of humor – either offering or appreciating – but then end up bomarding you with their real agenda that consistently affects your wall in an adverse manner. Some might say I should block them from my newsfeed, but I say a) I will just unfriend – NO HALF MEASURES – IT IS BREAKING BAD WEEK; and b) it gives me the daily dose of hostility I need – like a multivitamin for my comedy. So here are some of the people who use false pretenses to sneak into the comedy world on Facebook:
The Comedian Who Is Too Quick to the Fan Page Invite – Dude, I don’t know you. You requested me as a friend and now you are inviting me to like your fan page? And now I am seriously believing that your “friend” request was really just a plot to put me in the fan zone – like telling a chick you want to date, when all you really want to do is hook up. I am not that kind of a Facebook user!
The Issue Person – Sure I have seen you at some mics or yes there are a couple of photos of you on stage somewhere, but deep down you just really used a keycard into the comedy community to gain an audience for your single issue focus, that had I known about before accepting a friend request I would have clicked ignore. If your posts are not 75% or more humorous (or at least attempts at humor) then you are lying to the Facebook community. #Feminsim #LoveReligion #HateReligion #Etc.
YouTube Person: The Guy/Girl Who Never Stops Posting Article, News Stories, Videos, Etc. – I have the Internet too. Please stop throwing it all on my news feed.
Comedian Who Goes From Comedy Posts to Perspective Posts – One of the great things to see is when a comedian makes a jump from obscurity to some level above obscurity and shifts to a mentorship role (much like Walter White – they always had the desire to pontificate, but now they have worked hard and have the perceived stature to do so) in their statuses that no ones asked them to take on. Just because a manager or agent bullied clubs to take you on, or risk losing bigger names on the agent’s client roster does not mean that you now possess pearls of wisdom or magical insights into success. Just stick to the funny. If I wanted that bullsh*t I would send friend requests to Tony Robbins and Joel Osteen. For the record – I have been doing this consistently as a failure so no one can accuse me of flipping the script and turning into a know-it-all when I make it big.
Flavor Flavs – Do, say, or post something funny if you are a comedian. Do not just be hypemen/women for other comedians. Or else change that name or place of employment from comedian to something else. And then send me a fan page request for Dan Jones – middle school teacher. That I would definitely click “like” on.
If you read this and see any ressemblance to yourself it is not a coincidence. It probably just means I still think well of you in real life, but real life is irrelevant to the more important life on Facebook.
For more opinions, comedy and bridge burning check out the Righteous Prick Podcast on Podomatic or iTunes. New Every Tuesday! This week’s episode is all BREAKING BAD so subscribe or follow today.