Tyler Perry Presents J-L’s 3 Day Trip with Dad

Taking a much needed break from not getting booking e-mails replied to, I have ventured an hour north of the city to accompany my father on a three day mini-vacation to Bear Mountain, NY.  Being that he is 82 years old and not getting around very well the trip represents a feasible way for him to escape the apartment and get a bit of nature.  It also gives my Mom a three day break, or at least time to workshop some material before my parents’ next argument.  But with my Dad’s memory resembling the guy in Memento, his gait to the bathroom resembling Beyoncé’s single ladies dance in 1/10000th the speed and his countenance resembling a near-bald, older Morgan Freeman (and me looking like me) I think this trip would make for a great movie comedy script.  However, with the two stars of the movie being 75% black I am not sure I should call Judd Apatow just yet.  That said, I think I can get Tyler Perry interested.

There would be no shortage of older black actors he could cast as my Dad, though I am guessing I would also be replaced also, probably by a darker, more muscular man since Tyler Perry loves cross dressing and casting extremely muscular black men in his movies.  But in no way should his intense embrace of Christian values, love of cross-dressing and admiration of extremely muscular black men indicate anything other than a healthy heterosexuality in accordance with the Lord’s wishes.  So I am out of the movie and I am thinking a desperate Louis Gossett Jr. and an available Boris Kodjoe will play my father and me, respectively, in Tyler Perry’s 3 Day Trip with Dad.  Here are the potential sources of humor that actually have happened combined with things that Tyler Perry could then add to the story and punch up with his trademark humor:

  • Arrive at Bear Mountain Inn, driven by older brother (played by Shemar Moore) who leaves me with words of wisdom and encouragement for my stay with Dad, demonstrating that he is the responsible and mature brother.
  • I act annoyed with my Dad, until I see that the front desk woman at the Inn is a striking 5’11” blonde (only the latter part of this is true, but for humor’s sake the first part would happen in the Perry script and for some unexplainable reason the woman at the front desk would be an evil character who would try and drive an emotional wedge between my father and I during a 50 hour trip)
  • The cleaning lady has not cleaned the room yet when we arrive (true). But instead of an apologetic Latin woman coming to clean the room, it would be a light-skinned attractive black woman coming to clean the room who would give me sass that I would find off-putting, but intriguing at the same time.
  • On a walk with my Dad, he continues to ask me questions of unbelieveable vagueness – “who is the man from the movie who sang the song?” or this one which occurred yesterday during a conversation about MSNBC political pundits, “Who is the quarterback for the Knicks who had knee surgery?” (Answer after many “what the hell could you be talking about”‘s – Derek Jeter)
  • A running joke throughout the trip would be my character (with a French name – my father calls me Jean-Louis, unless he mockingly calls me J-L) being confused as a young stud (because I am not readily apparent as my father’s son) accompanying an old man that people believe is a South American (think Pele Brazilian) millionaire on vacation in America keeping his side proclivities hidden.  That leads to many hilarious awkward, mistaken gay encounters.
  • My character and my Dad would then have a big argument which would lead to the devilish blonde sleeping with me. I would realize she never liked me (all within a 50 hour trip) and would then make amends with my father.  I would also pledge to be a good man to the pretty maid and all would seem good and morally right, even if a tad rushed.
  • Right before the closing credits I will go to the doctor and get diagnosed as HIV positive.  The lesson – don’t sleep with mean white women and don’t get into too many accidental gay encounters.  No advance screenings of the film will be available to critics.

Well there it is, so I will continue to take notes in the final day and half of the trip and someone get me Tyler Perry’s contact info.

For more opinions, comedy and bridge burning check out the Righteous Prick Podcast on Podomatic or iTunes. New Every Tuesday!  THIS WEEK’S EPISODE WAS A GREAT ONE ABOUT DAVE CHAPPELLE.

Badly Broken: USA Chooses Cyrus the Virus & Angie…

It is no secret to readers of this blog that I am a huge fan of Breaking Bad.  It is one of the few shows I watch live and I consider it one of televisions three best dramas ever (assuming they stick the landing with the remaining 5 episodes).  But this morning was a 1-2 punch of disconcerting news for me on the Breaking Bad front.  First off, Breaking Bad is well behind… Rizzoli and Isles of TNT, in most watched shows on cable television.  Huh?  I have never heard of anyone liking this show, let alone hearing or knowing anyone who watches it.  I mean a co-star of the show just killed himself, so that seems like a big thumbs down.  Angie Harmon was the attractive, but overrated, one-note-of-complete-intensity actress who is married to the NFL’s Last of the Mohicans – Jason Sehorn (he was a white starting cornerback in the NFL).  Welcome to the Two Americas people – one where some watch Breaking Bad, some watch Rizzoli and Isles and way more people watch the MTV Video Music Awards.

That’s right, after reading the Cable TV results in the NY Times I tuned in to Facebook and saw that many more of my friends were offering more commentary about the VMAs (shouldn’t YouTube be hosting these awards now?) than about Breaking Bad.  And the big story was about Miley Cyrus performance (John Malkovich’s Cyrus the Virus from Con Air is now passing the title on to Miley).  As embarrassed as I am that lots of people I know in their thirties were watching it instead of Breaking Bad, I was even more disturbed by her performance.  People are condemning it, but haven’t we reached a critical point in youth and sexuality (sorry to sound like an old fart – I know Miley is an adult legally, but her and MTV’s market is more youthful).  There is a flood of sexual content on television on exponentially more on-line.  Cell phones have also cut out parents as middlemen in the relationships of teenagers, while also giving teens and younger the capability of sending sexual images to each other.  As I said on my third album Too Big To Fail, teens have been horny forever, but a half a generation ago you had to buy pornography from another human being (shaming) and often speak and meet a parent or parents to become close to a high school girl or guy you were interested in (awkward and uncomfortable).  Now the sexual urges have never been stronger, but none of the gatekeepers are as firmly in place so kids can act upon their urges with not as much need to develop the requisite maturity that used to go hand in hand with it (or at least more so). Just like your 5 year old’s ability to play video games on your smart phone does not necessarily mean the child is actually smart, so it goes with teens’ increased exposure to sexuality and the actual maturity to deal with sexuality.

I know we no longer judge people, especially women, quite as harshly for sexual practices, but at some point shouldn’t we retain a little bit of judgment?  Sexuality, like technology, is not inherently evil, but in the wrong hands or in the hands of someone not mature to deal with it can still be harmful, both physically and mentally.  Here is what I posted on Facebook this morning that seemed to get a good response and sort of sums up my thoughts.

Can some people at least admit that our culture of hedonism masquerading as sexual empowerment, without any judgment or restraint, is partly what gives us monsters like Miley Cyrus and Kim Kardashian.  Exposing and teaching young people, especially girls, to embrace sexuality before they are mentally mature enough to understand it is what leads to chicks like Cyrus and Kardashian thinking they are “brave” or “bold” or “empowered” when they are just sort of shameful and disgusting.  I understand the backlash that emerged from substandard treatment to women and the sexual double standard that still persists to an extent today, but the pendulum seems to have swung too far.  We need fewer hypocrites on the right talking about family values and more free spirit liberals to start citing the values of decency once in a while.  This is not about condoms in high schools or birth control. It’s about common decency.  Perhaps when the next Miley Cyrus blows the next Robin Thicke on stage in 2025 we might pause and say “hey maybe we aren’t evangelical hypocrites or puritans burning witches just because we draw a line in the sand for what our kids are exposed to.”

Odd that today is the anniversary of women getting the right to vote.  I am sure if Susan B. Anthony were alive today she would have harsh words for Miley Cyrus and there would be many empowered women telling her to shut her judgmental ass up.  And then Ms. Anthony would watch Breaking Bad. #Hero

For more opinions, comedy and bridge burning check out the Righteous Prick Podcast on Podomatic or iTunes. New Every Tuesday!

How to Win an Advance Copy of Keep My…

I am not very good at promotion or business or anything else that is not actually comedy content.  But I thought, maybe with the release of my new album I can incentivize some people to help me, in turn helping them.  My album goes on digital sale September 24th.  But I will have advance copies the first week of September and am willing to give ten away for free, shipping and handling included if you are one of the first ten people to get five friends to become followers of my podcast on Podomatic.  Perhaps they are a friend who likes debate or humor, maybe they are a comedian who likes to hear unvarnished truth and criticism about the business, maybe they just want you to get a free CD.  Whatever the case, share with a friend or friends an episode you think they would like to entice them to become a follower. (If you are already a follower or become a follower that can count as one towards your five).  I want them to remain followers so sharing an episode you think they will like would help.  Here are the simple steps:

  1. Direct them to Podomatic.com and have them sign up – all that is required is a name (perhaps their first name followed by your first name to help identify them as yours) and an email.  The only email they receive is one every Tuesday telling them that the new episode is up. That is it.
  2. Once signed up and logged in direct them to this page, where all they need to do is click “Follow” and then it is done (this is required, but please tell them to subscribe on iTunes to Righteous P***k if they prefer podcasts on iTunes – but Podomatic is the only way for me to keep track so they must at least follow on Podomatic).
  3. Once you have 5 including yourself, just email me at [email protected] with the names and your address and you will win a free advance copy.

I don’t know if this will work, but what the hell, right?

Ok – spread the word. Hope to give out some free copies.

For more opinions, comedy and bridge burning check out the Righteous Prick Podcast on Podomatic or iTunes. New Every Tuesday!

Keep My Enemies Closer Official Promo PLUS A Special…

As of today we are 36 days from the release of Keep My Enemies Closer, my new album that will either be a launching  pad for the next phase of my comedy career or the epitaph on my comedy career tombstone.  Either way it will be worth a buy and listen, preferably in that order.  As the final touches are done on artwork and production before I start promoting the holy hell out of it I offer you my August JLComedy video of the month.  I took this month off from impressions and skewering the comedy business to honor my favorite television show and character.  If you are a fan of Breaking Bad you will get this and enjoy it.  If not, just watch the fu*king thing as a show of support and mark your calendars to get on iTunes on September 24th.  Here’s the video:

Just to show you that I still have a stalker who is willing to fight a sad and lonely fight.  He has used a couple of false names on-line to draw attention away from the positive attention my work has been getting recently.  Sadly when you post 9 consecutive hateful comments filled with information stated by me on my podcasts people do not actually think you are stirring a debate, but just in need of mental health assistance.  So if you enjoyed the video and are looking forward to the album, thank you and here is an example of the kind of people who are REALLY excited about the album:

Oh yeah – on a positive note I have lost 11 pounds in my first 8 days on the Paleo diet so I hope “Claymaker” can one day by my friend!

For more opinions, comedy and bridge burning check out the Righteous Prick Podcast on Podomatic or iTunes. New Every Tuesday!

Guerrilla Album, Small Bits of Good News and Featuring…

Well this week has been an eventful one, even though I have not gotten the stage time I sought.  First let’s start with the bad news – not one, but two CD producers have passed on marketing Keep My Enemies Closer.  Upon listening to the album I was paid what I believe to be a compliment (but I could be wrong) from a producer saying “you seem to be the type that wants to blaze your own path…”  However, it will have to be another guerrilla production by yours truly.  Of course now I am armed with the best album of my career (by far), as well as a lot of increased exposure from various media forms, but it is still a disappointing, uphill climb to try and get bigger sales by pleading to be on podcasts, radio shows and hoping friends, fans and supporters get the word out (that’s your cue to get the word out).  I realize when you Do It Yourself (which I thought was the new model of comedy) folks in the comedy album business do not want you (or at least are not as enthused).  It seems the familiar model is they hook you up with upfront costs, bookings and recording equipment and then take a healthy slice of the sales money.  Now to comedians in my position who have the chops, but not the cash, the upfront part of the deal is hard to resist.  But I am doubly screwed because in addition to already handling all the upfront work (so no leverage for me to give up as much loot on the back end), this album is not easily molded into a role or a roster spot on a label.  This album is if Giraldo and Patrice had a baby and then left the baby at an orphanage and it grew up angry.  I am not accusing or suggesting anyone I pitched the album to had ulterior motives; maybe they just did not like it, but I give you my word as someone who tells you when I suck and tells you when I rock, this album is a fu*king beast.  The set rocked both the comedians in attendance and the strangers that wandered in not knowing what to expect.  And yes I know sharing my failures is not the best way to market an album, but this blog has always been truthful and I am telling you they are wrong (they may have valid reasons, but passing on this album is a mistake).

Tomorrow I film the promo video for the album (release date – 9/24/13), which if you know the following scene from Breaking Bad, should be very entertaining (or at last entertaining – I won’t be going make-up, etc. but the writing will be worth the watch):

But in other comedy news for fans or readers of mine, I am in the running for a web series movie review show (which would yield a nice weekly payday and free passes to movies, which would be a nice upgrade from unpaid and $14/week) and my web series with Discovery, Dumb in the First Degree (I offer humor and actual legal information regarding YouTube’s dumbest criminals), launches in two weeks, if not sooner.  Lastly, I got a W-9 from Official Comedy, which means my clip from The Stand, recorded this past Sunday, will air on their channel soon.   So that is the good news portion of the blog. Naturally it is short and without much editorial cheer.  Probably because I am still owed $500 from a group of comedians I toured with.

As far as gigs I have spots Friday and Saturday (both 8pm) at the Creek and the Cave in Long island City, as well as a headlining performance at the Muslim Brotherhood’s “Day of Anger” Friday in Egypt.  I think they want me to work clean, but to maintain my usual tone.  But this week was bereft of gigs because a) I don’t have management; 2) I am a little fatigued from all the work I have been doing and most importantly 3) I am house sitting my 82 year old father.  It is sort of like opening for him because everything from walking, to eating, to falling asleep I seem to do in less time and before him.   My Dad was always left leaning, except on certain hot topics (think elderly black man from a third world country – not a Glee fan) and what is weird is now that he is a little more physically and mentally weakened from his peak he just sounds like a mix of Chris Matthews and Michele Bachmann in a Herman Cain body.  Next week I will be selling highlight DVDs of my three day stint in Riverdale called Cane & Disabled.

For more opinions, comedy and bridge burning check out the Righteous Prick Podcast on Podomatic or iTunes. New Every Tuesday! This week’s episode was a fantastic one on stand up comedy with Josh Homer.

How Good Is Breaking Bad? Not Even YOU Can…

For most readers of this blog it is not news or a shock that I have a podcast where I trash, or at least debate, popular, trendy or oversaturated things in our culture.  As much as crushing them is fun, at least half the time it is not the thing itself, but the overwhelming and overdone reaction of fans to the thing in question that I am really trashing.  I don’t hate cupcakes, to use an example of an early episode topic, just the way every bored chick with money in 2012 in Manhattan seemed to be opening up a cupcake store trying to out-cute and out-trendy the last week’s cupcake offering.  And last night, as I saw how large the Breaking Bad fan base seemed to have grown on social media I feared Breaking Bad might suffer the same fate as many of my podcast topics: that the culture that now obsesses over something (or anything) as soon as it becomes cool would drain Breaking Bad of its cool from overuse and overexposure and in the process kill (or at least reduce) my joy in it (sort of like the old people in the movie Cocoon did to the cocoon).

I liked Breaking Bad when I could still tell people about it without annoying them (3-4 seasons ago).  Now everyone who has caught up on Netflix in the last 8 weeks is preaching the Gospel with all the annoyance of a born again crystal meth Christian. I was not quite John The Baptist (that was comedian Nick Cobb for me who got me on the show after season 1 had aired), but I was a relatively early and outspoken fan, while the cool kids were still sucking Mad Men‘s balls (do you STILL think Mad Men is better????).  But now it has become a “thing” which is when I start to hate stuff, even if it is not the stuff’s fault.

But guess what?

Breaking Bad is too good for social media or humans to ruin, no matter how hard they hashtag and pun their asses off about the show!  This is the true sign of greatness – delivering the goods (which the final season premiere certainly did) while simultaneously withstanding the surrounding douchebaggery of trendiness that usually makes me hate something.

Congratulations Breaking Bad.  You are truly great.  Now I just hope there is not a mad rush to watch Six Feet Under by assholes.

Today’s post is short because I am conserving my energy. I just started the Paleo diet and will be bidding adieu to processed foods, potatoes of all kinds and desserts that are not fruit salad.  So hopefully by January 1st I will have dropped 60 pounds or died because I will not be able to deal with any other outcome.

For more opinions, comedy and bridge burning check out the Righteous Prick Podcast on Podomatic or iTunes. New Every Tuesday! 

Comedian Trojan Horses: The People Who Trick Us on…

As a comedian (or as I prefer to downgrade myself – unpaid intern at comedy A/K/A The King of All Unpaid Media) I am pretty liberal with my Facebook friend add policy.  I rarely seek anyone out, but when added I usually say yes.  However, I have a few tests to not approve of you.  The first is if I check out your page and all it contains are comments from other people – either posting on your page or thanking you for the friend request. That means you are not real.  The second is if you are an attractive woman I have never met and are located in a place I have never been and if all your friends are men.  The third is if there are only symbols in your name.  One of the good ways to get me to click approve is if we have mutual friends and none of them are comedians (then you rate very high on the authentic human scale).  Another good way is if we have a lot of friends in common (meaning comedian) then have a picture doing something funny or have some statuses that indicate a human being is operating the account.  And of course proceeding a friend request with a “I think you are awesome” direct message leads to 100% of friend request acceptances.  However, these simple guidelines do not create a perfect Facebook experience.  This is because some people seemingly come in peace in “comedian” trojan horses; they offer an outward appearance of humor – either offering or appreciating – but then end up bomarding you with their real agenda that consistently affects your wall in an adverse manner.  Some might say I should block them from my newsfeed, but I say a) I will just unfriend – NO HALF MEASURES – IT IS BREAKING BAD WEEK; and b) it gives me the daily dose of hostility I need – like a multivitamin for my comedy.  So here are some of the people who use false pretenses to sneak into the comedy world on Facebook:

The Comedian Who Is Too Quick to the Fan Page Invite – Dude, I don’t know you.  You requested me as a friend and now you are inviting me to like your fan page?  And now I am seriously believing that your “friend” request was really just a plot to put me in the fan zone – like telling a chick you want to date, when all you really want to do is hook up.  I am not that kind of a Facebook user!

The Issue Person – Sure I have seen you at some mics or  yes there are a couple of photos of you on stage somewhere, but deep down you just really used a keycard into the comedy community to gain an audience for your single issue focus, that had I known about before accepting a friend request I would have clicked ignore.  If your posts are not 75% or more humorous (or at least attempts at humor) then you are lying to the Facebook community. #Feminsim #LoveReligion #HateReligion #Etc.

YouTube Person: The Guy/Girl Who Never Stops Posting Article, News Stories, Videos, Etc. – I have the Internet too.  Please stop throwing it all on my news feed.

Comedian Who Goes From Comedy Posts to Perspective Posts – One of the great things to see is when a comedian makes a jump from obscurity to some level above obscurity and shifts to a mentorship role (much like Walter White – they always had the desire to pontificate, but now they have worked hard and have the perceived stature to do so) in their statuses that no ones asked them to take on.  Just because a manager or agent bullied clubs to take you on, or risk losing bigger names on the agent’s client roster does not mean that you now possess pearls of wisdom or magical insights into success.  Just stick to the funny.  If I wanted that bullsh*t I would send friend requests to Tony Robbins and Joel Osteen.  For the record – I have been doing this consistently as a failure so no one can accuse me of flipping the script and turning into a know-it-all when I make it big.

Flavor Flavs – Do, say, or post something funny if you are a comedian. Do not just be hypemen/women for other comedians.  Or else change that name or place of employment from comedian to something else.  And then send me a fan page request for Dan Jones – middle school teacher.  That I would definitely click “like” on.

If you read this and see any ressemblance to yourself it is not a coincidence.  It probably just means I still think well of you in real life, but real life is irrelevant to the more important life on Facebook.

For more opinions, comedy and bridge burning check out the Righteous Prick Podcast on Podomatic or iTunes. New Every Tuesday!  This week’s episode is all BREAKING BAD so subscribe or follow today.

EXCLUSIVE REPORT: The 10 NBA People Most Likely to…

Baseball is reeling from its latest performance enhancing drug (PED) scandal, but if there is a silver lining to it is that baseball gets to use Alex Rodriguez as a scapegoat and effectively try to punish him for his own failings as well as those of Barry Bonds, Sammy Sosa, Mark McGwire and everyone else they failed to catch because baseball was awesome when those guys were killing the ball.  Also, a bunch of people who cheat on their significant others, their taxes and are generally of mediocre character – AKA the American people – get to crucify Alex Rodriguez for a deluxe serving of schadenfreude.  But this seems useless on so many levels.  A-Rod is clearly not a great player anymore anyway and baseball is a sport no longer suited for our times – it is long, boring and thanks to a crackdown on PEDs, not exciting anymore, except when the latest fraud is exposed.  However, my favorite sport, basketball,  is at Jordan era-level popularity, so it should come as no shock that an unnamed NBA player has been linked to the Biogenesis clinic in Coral Gables, FL.  After racking my brain I have come up with 10 NBA people who are most likely to be the unnamed player.  Some of these names hurt me to put on the list; some delighted me, but this is it:

10. JJ Reddick – any guy with a contract with a woman to get an abortion is of suspect moral character.  Combine that with a Duke pedigree and you have a certified piece of sh*t.  As baseball taught us – it is not always the star who becomes great through PED usage, but rather the marginal player who secures his marginal place through drugs.  He also played for the Orlando Magic who had both Rashard Lewis and Hedo Turkoglu who were busted for PED.

 

9. Tony Parker – any guy who bangs his teammate’s wife is always on my list for bad stuff. Sure, he is not buff, but he is an Energizer bunny of energy and facing increasing pressure to carry the load for the Spurs.

 

8. Amar’e Stoudemire – constant injuries, a big contract to live up to and most likely Jewish relatives in Miami all give Amar’e a reason to go down to Coral Cables for some anti-aging medications.

7. Lebron James – The man plays in Miami, is a physical freak and is the greatest athlete on the planet not named Usain Bolt.  As much as it pains me to have him on the list he has to be considered a suspect.  However, even if he is linked to the clinic he may very well have been picking up anti-aging materials for his long lost father Greg Oden, who recently joined the Heat as part of a Father-Son program.

 

6. Serge Ibaka – look at the picture.  No further discussion.

 

5. Derek Fisher – a man who duped two cities so he could join championship contenders cannot be trusted.  Plus he is old.  Plus an ex girlfriend of mine once referred to him simply as “arms.”

 

4. Dwyane Wade – plays in Miami like Lebron, but a friend of mine whose cousin is a starting small forward in the NBA told me that Wade was an HGH user.  Gave his wife an STD.  The only reason he is not higher on the list or #1 is because of the incredible cases to be made for the top 3.

3. Dwight Howard – the greatest shoulders in the NBA may be fake.  Dwight is sort of a petulant bitch, vain (wanted to be a Hollywood star more than the Lakers center) and, like Reddick, was a member of the PED tainted Orlando Magic.

 

2. Kobe Bryant – the Mamba. Played some of his best basketball in his 17th season, has offered A-Rod advice in the past, goes to Germany for magical knee treatments in the off season and is saying he may be ready many months ahead of schedule from an achilles tear.  The only thing Kobe is missing is a Dominican cousin carrying his luggage to be guilty of PED usage.  But like many things about Kobe, he cannot surpass his master.

 

1. Michael Jordan – He is 50 years old, bitter and angry about his failings as a GM and is always fueling rumors that he could still play in the NBA at 50.  MJ would take PEDs to win a shooting drill against players on his Charlotte franchise and he would never let Kobe be more famous or successful than him, even if it was for a sports scandal.

 

For more opinions, comedy and bridge burning check out the Righteous Prick Podcast on Podomatic or iTunes. New Every Tuesday!  This week’s episode is all BREAKING BAD so subscribe or follow today.

The Cleveland Recap and Salon Backlash

This weekend I was at the Cleveland Improv emceeing shows.  My math, which is probably good for the present bottom line and horrible for future earnings is, “Will this gig net me more than sitting on my ass this weekend?” If the answer is yes, then I usually take the gig.  I was supposed to be featuring at the Cleveland Improv since a little while back, but just after logging half a dozen emcee spots (as in weekends, not shows) I was told that the feature booking responsibility had been shifted the main Midwest outpost of the Funny Bone/Improv chains (just like the Mob in Casino had Kansas City as a critical control hub between the East Coast and Vegas, so too does a town in Ohio control the fate of many working comedians.  And instead of adding (and earning) a club to my roster of places I feature I effectively had to take one off and be content emceeing.

The shows were fun and I ended the weekend with a 5-1 record (the Cleveland Improv is a largely urban club and I would compare my experiences there to playing organized basketball – you only have fun at the end of the game if it turns out you won a/k/a won over the crowd – but every show feels like work.  This is not shooting around or pick up basketball – it is adversarial and it partly feels, especially as the emcee (the three shows I have featured at the Cleveland Improv have always been my best), like you have to break the will of the crowd to laugh at you.  And before this sounds too much like a slave master analogy, let me remind you at this time that my father is black.  At best I am a house slave chiding field slaves (now the featured pic makes some offensive sense).

On more fun notes, AKA the time spend off stage, I must say downtown Cleveland is beautiful.  This is not a joke.  I think my purpose in comedy is not to become a successful or even marginal comedian – perhaps this adventure has just allowed me to scout many American locations so I can choose a place to live and work when I hang up the microphone.  And I think I identified the exact location in Cleveland.  Near the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame (recap of that next paragraph – WOW) there is a Catholic Church, an Amtrak Station, a football stadium (OK – the Browns, but still), a beautiful, expansive lakefront view and all the municipal buildings, presumably where prosecutors who did not get into comedy go to work every day.  If Cleveland were willing to throw an IHOP and a Cheesecake Factory into the area I would gladly plunk myself down there and die of happiness and trans fats sometime in my early 40s.

Sunday I went to the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame.  Holy sh*t that place is even better than I remember.  If you like music at all or do not suck as a human you must go here.  You learn so much (Les Paul should have a movie made about him already if there isn’t) and the place is chock full of great music, interactive exhibits, memorabilia and more.  Right now there is a two story exhibit on the Rolling Stones and for me the highlight is still the (now 90 minute) montage film of all the Rock n Roll HOF inductees.  That place should be on everyone’s bucket list.  Most readers of this blog would not believe how much I was smiling while inside the museum, but my face hurt a little bit when I left for overusing muscles I never use.

So thanks Cleveland for having a very underrated city and I hope that rumors of a comeback and rejuvenation are not wrong.

In other, probably more significant news I was featured in a piece on the popular site Salon.com.  The article was the work of Daniel Berkowtiz (no relation to David) a Columbia journalism student who met with me over many months to write a 6500 word tour de force about a respected, but failing comedian in the age of social media (me in case you do not respect me).  One of the interesting things about my peers and I that often gets overlooked is that I am part of the last generation of comedians who really invested themselves in comedy right before YouTube and social media completely changed the game of stand up for better and worse.  The article captures that very well, but when Salon took the article they required it cut down to 2500 words (though I did appreciate Salon using a photo of me from before comedy took my jaw line).  The big loser in that was probably my mother who was interviewed for the article and who gets a lot of praise from me for her support and is one of the biggest reasons I feel guilty for potentially squandering a law degree/career to pursue a more selfish/self-centered career.  The biggest winner was probably my ex fiancée who was not spared in the original version for being a terrible presence in my life at the very point when my career may have been poised to take off.

But the article has driven new traffic to my work and of course most comedians are respectful, appreciative or even encouraging, but some “comedians” and many heroes in the Internet Commenter Community have come to trash me.  Part of the problem is the title of the article Salon chose “YouTube Is Killing Comedy” was overbroad, sensational and completely inaccurate when compared to the substance of the actual article.  It probably primed some readers (those with poor reading comprehension) to view it under a totally false framework.  The original title “The New Life of a Stand Up Comedian” was a better choice, but perhaps would not have generated as much traffic (ironic that an article about a comedian having to bend over backwards and devote efforts to other pursuits to satisfy Internet business models had to adjust to a title that was more sensational and inaccurate to drive Internet business).  But I enjoyed all the negative comments (cue Nas’ Hate Me Now, but with all the wealth references replaced by sarcasm).  People that still insist on defending Louis CK from an impression as if he is their child (and attack me because I am not famous – had the sketch been on SNL it would be exempt from scorn) or people trashing my comedy – one guy shot up my Ferguson set with no real ammo, but wrote with self-important authority so I guess I should heed his non-advice – these folks are the backbone of Internet comedy!

So on to Breaking Bad week.  This week I will record a new video – a Breaking Bad parody to promote my new album.  Looking forward to everyone telling me I don’t look like Walter White (I won’t be in costume – I’m playing myself – but I assume at least one comment will say “This was OK, but Bryan Cranston is a much better actor”).

For more opinions, comedy and bridge burning check out the Righteous Prick Podcast on Podomatic or iTunes. New Every Tuesday!  This week’s episode will be all BREAKING BAD so subscribe or follow today to get it Tuesday.