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Movie of the Week: Sherlock Holmes Game Of Shadows

This week’s movie was Sherlock Holmes Game of Shadows (which in the first 20 minutes Sherlock manages to subtly say “He is playing a game Watson, a shadowy game,” but the movie experience I had could be called the Game of Overshadowing.  That is because between the movie theater, the funny pre-show PSAs and one movie preview in particular, Sherlock Holmes ended up being the 4th best thing about going to see Sherlock Holmes.  It was not a terrible movie, but let me explain.

I went to the Alamo Drafthouse Cinema a theater where they serve a full menu in spacious seats.  It was awesome.  I had a milkshake and got in for free (G list celebrity) so I had the best movie experience I have ever had for cheaper than a regular movie ticket in NYC (only $10 if I had not been comped).  After going to this theater I think every movie theater should operate like this one.

Then, the movie theater had the best PSA for theater etiquette. I looked for it on YouTube but could not find it, but  it was basically an old school cartoon of a hot dog, popcorn and candy singing some 50s jingle and then some  modern heavy metal candy band starts blasting about how if you use your cell phone or crinkle the wrappers of your candy too loudly they will kill you, with the 50s candies looking on horrified.

Then came the trailer for The Dark Knight Rises, which got a nerdy rise out of me.  It looks dark and apocalyptic and scary and awesome.  Can’t wait.

So then it was time for Sherlock Holmes, which turned out to be an OK movie.  I definitely liked the first one much better.  The problem is the lack of a substantial plot.  The Guy Ritchie Sherlock Holmes is a man of action and inferred brilliance.  There is a lot more punching (the action sequences are shot in a very cool manner) and a lot less detective work.  The most glaring part of the plot, which was hinted at in the first one is that Sherlock Holmes is clearly in love with Watson (Jude Law).  The humorous suggestion of the first film is basically laid out in even more obvious homoerotic scenes in this film.  It goes from being funny to almost awkward where we are left wondering, “Wait, is the focus of the movie that Holmes is in love with Watson?”  Sherlock Holmes: Brokesleuth Mountain.

The performances are good, but the middle hour of the movie seems to be wandering aimlessly for a plot for the viewer to care about.  That said I enjoyed the beginning of the film and was pleasantly surprised by the final 30 minutes of the film.  But I’d say wait for video.

FINAL GRADE – B-/C+

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Movie of the Week: Contagion

This week presents several movie of the week options.  One option is Warrior – the Rocky (or possibly jumping right to the Rocky V) of MMA films, whose preview bears the hallmark of a bad movie – 98% of the plot is given away in the preview (all I know is that the two main characters enter a competition and the two of them face off in the finals of that competition – but who wins, besides MMA, which gets a free advertisement for its product, I do not know).  Another option is Bucky Larson, which stars Nick Swardson and is produced by Happy Madison, the production studio of Adam Sandler, that specializes in brain cell-destroying excrement.  However, I am confident that Bucky Larson, which appears to track the adventures of a buck-toothed, borderline special needs young man who inexplicably becomes a small-membered adult film star, will definitely “buck” the Sandler trend and be a classic.

So I settled on Steven Soderbergh’s new film Contagion.  I had a free ticket thanks to the New York Times’ Film Club.  Part of the membership is that I get tickets to several early screenings of films.  But, as you may guess, any film club based on membership in a print-media based organization with liberal leanings means that it is usually me and a few hundred elderly Jewish people.  In other words when I want to hang out with elderly Catholics I go to Church and then when I need to get some elderly Jewish company I go to NYT film club screenings.

The movie is about a fictional world-wide outbreak of a bat/swine based virus that kills quickly and with minimal contact.  The movie boasts an all star cast, with Lawrence Fishburne and Matt Damon earning the most screen time.   Jude Law is the standout to me as the conspiracy theorist blogging superstar in the movie, but everyone is good.

The movie makes the undoubtedly true point that within a few weeks of an outbreak like the one depicted in the film, humans would revert to becoming animals whose survival instinct trumps all sense of decency.  Unless you are a named star above the title of the film, in which case you will still have your humanity.

The movie is well made and moves briskly, but I still never felt like any of the main characters were in danger and if you want an audience to care about the main characters they need to seem as vulnerable as the cast of extras that are filling up the mass graves.  I haven’t seen it in a while, but I still think I’d take Outbreak over Contagion.

Final Grade – B/B-

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Wolverine and A-Rod Must Pull a “McGreevey” To Save…

In case gay men were still fuming (flaming?) over Proposition 8 in California they were just dealt two more blows (can the unintentional gay puns ever stop?) in the form of Wolverine and Alex Rodriguez’s latest scandals.

Although I have already blasted it on Facebook – if you can help it do not go see Wolverine.  I am more guilty than most with going to see blockbusters.  After Batman Forever I swore that I would not see another Batman (the new franchise does not count), but there I was a couple of years later watching Batman and Robin, one of the 10 worst films I have ever seen.

Well last night, since I did not have to be up until 4 pm today for work, I went to see a midnight show of Wolverine.  This is a really really bad movie.  So many cliche moments (did he really just scream up at the sky at the death of someone?, is he really walking with CGI fire behind him? – what a badass!), such bad acting and writing have not been crammed into one film since Sophia Coppola starred in a re-make of Castaway (not true, but wanted to show how easy it is to write Family Guy-style jokes).  Now Hugh Jackman shows up jacked as ever (I question the legality of his training methods at this point), but this steroided up Rupert Everett is not enough to carry the movie beyond a rating or “piece of crap,” which is the only rating before “a Paul Blart.”

And faster than you can say gay man on steroids, here comes repressed Alex Rodriguez back into the news, with more revelations about his “doth protest too much” womanizing and his playing the Matt Damon to Derek Jeter’s Jude law in his baseball version of The Talented Mr. Ripley (does that make Joba Chamberlain the Phillip Seymour Hoffman of the Yankees?).  I have defended A-Rod, not because I think his womanizing or cheating or annoyingly overdone PR image are good, but because I am starting to think this guy is really repressing something.  I mean the guy is a pretty, tan, well-groomed Latin guy from South Beach with a taste for muscular pop singers – I am not sure if Perez Hilton is that gay?  Throw in his alleged obsession with Derek Jeter and his alleged cheesy pick up lines and you might as well not as look at his iPod because I am sure Freedom by George Michael is playing on repeat.

So I have the same advice for both Hugh Jackman and Alex Rodriguez to stem the criticism for atrocious behavior (making a bad movie, cheating on everything, respectively).  Pull a McGreevey.  This move, named after former New jersey governor and truck stop enthusiast Jim McGreevey, is when you make a shocking announcement about your sexuality to distract from terrible professional activities.

So my solution for them is that they both should come out and announce that they are gay Americans in the next week.  Sure, Hugh Jackman is not American, he’s Australian, but no one will be listening after he says gay.  And A-Rod could spice it up (Latin pun) and say he is a gay Latino-American thus adding an extra layer of minority protection to his announcement.  I think this is the only thing that can save their respective credibility.  My guess is that the entire cast of J.J. Abrams’ Star Trek will have to announce that they are a gay star fleet next week.