Two decades in stand-up comedy have provided me with plenty of joy, plenty of pain and plenty of interesting experiences travelling the United States.  Late last week was my first trip to Charlotte, North Carolina, the “Queen City” (are Cincinnati and Charlotte ever going to have a WWE-style cage match to determine who is the sole Queen City?).  I was opening for the live show of The Black Guy Who Tips podcast and everything from the show to the fans to the city gave me all the positives that make me realize why I put up with all the frustrations of being in comedy.  But my train trip home from Charlotte to New Jersey was exactly the kind of experience I love getting from travelling to different parts of the country. Ok – let’s get to the recap!

The Black Guy Who Tips – a brief history

I do not know the first time I appeared on TBGWT, but I do know that my comedy career was at a low point (legitimately, not just the way I speak of it on a monthly basis), but once I was a guest on the show I realized that Rod & Karen had a different type of fan base.  An appearance on their show would yield the same amount of feedback and new followers as a good appearance on podcasts with fan bases twenty times larger.  And when I was doing road work as a feature, post TBGT, there would be fans of TBGWT showing up. The point is that, along with Pete Dominick’s podcast community, TBGWT gave me a new supply of high quality fans and kept me going in comedy until I could grow my own independent fan base (to then learn that most of them were just bored liberals who would simply check in to tell me they couldn’t make shows, subscribe to podcasts, watch YouTube, sign up my for my newsletter, etc. – apparently my fans are all the veteran from the Metallica video “One.”).  They run a great show and have one of the best high value fan bases in the comedy world.  And they are great people.

So when asked to open for their live show in Charlotte I said yes.

Amtrak to Charlotte

I got on the Carolinian at 7:20am in Newark, NJ for the 13 hour trip to Charlotte.  I had to sit next to someone for 10 of the 13 hours (two separate people) and it was generally uncomfortable. I am well known for my nationwide train travel and have been on trains as long as 45 hours (Chicago-Seattle). On those trains, however, I usually have my own small room, versus 13 hours in a single seat next to someone whose space I am trying to respect (if I were more like Trump I would simply ooze over into their seating area and say “buy me snacks and maybe I will give you your territory back”).

A little after Durham, NC (about 2.5 hours from Charlotte on the train) I thought, “I guess this train is going to get me there on time” (I had to record a live podcast at 930pm from my hotel room, so I only had 30 minutes of late time to spare).  And then the J-L Jinx struck (which tragically began when Patrice O’Neal asked me to emcee for him and passed away sixth months after I worked with him for the second time. Now my career feels like a combination of Curb Your Enthusiasm and Final Destination). Our train had to stop for over an hour because a truck crashed into a bridge on our route and engineers had to go to the bridge and assess the integrity of the bridge before we could cross over it.  We got the OK, but by then I had already canceled the podcast taping.

I got to my downtown Charlotte hotel and was charged $11 for a 20 oz water bottle and a snickers ice cream bar. Queen City indeed!  I did not realize royal city could invoke prima nocta to charge NYC airport prices!  I then went to bed prepared for a busy Friday.

The Beige Guy Who Interviews and The Black Guy Who Tips

When I went downstairs for my continental breakfast (eating enough to make my money back from the Snickers-Water robbery) I was greeted by Morgan Wallen playing on the radio, Fox News on the TV and burly white guys in camouflage  eating. It felt like I was in a safe house/panic room for Trump loving whites in a left-leaning Black city.

After breakfast I got on a zoom interview for a job at a law firm (found out today that I did not get a second interview – a disturbing event in my life because it is showing that my charm and interview skills can no longer mask my lack of employability). After the interview I went for lunch at the Capital Grille 10 minutes away because I eat lunch for the job I think I am going to get, not the job I am not going to get 3 days later.  I was struck by how nice downtown Charlotte is and how much construction is going up. Sadly, by me even observing this, I may have cursed the city with tragedy at a near future date.

I then went back to my hotel and read a book and prepped my set for the night.  After a nice shower it was time for the meet & greet at the Blumenthal Performing Arts Center.

The Show

Seeing Rod for the first time in person in two years and Karen for the first time in around a decade was a wonderful reminder that I do not just live in cyber space and then we greeted all of their fans.  And each time Karen would ask “would you like J-L and Justin (a regular on TBGWT and I believe Rod’s best friend), in a picture as well?”  It was nice to be included and most people clearly wanted me included, but I was always close to feeling like a tip screen at a coffee shop “fine! *taps reluctantly on ‘J-L in picture also’ option*”

I opened the show and did quite well.  When I get the video in a week or two I will post the set to my Patreon (fans leave blog immediately at mention of pay platform). I then remained as a guest on the episode. After helping Karen and Rod with some of the clean up/break down we ate a delicious meal at a restaurant nearby called Sea Level.   It was a great honor and pleasure to do the show and to see the work and fanbase that Rod and Karen have built through their talent, work and kindness. I then went to bed that night with the following thought: “I will never have that kind of fan base, but at least I am in line to get that law firm job. zzzzzzzzzzzzzz”

Jimmy Crack Corn and the Ride Home

I woke up at 5am to make sure I did not miss my 645am train home.  I went to the Starbucks across the street from the

train station and must say – people in the South are just nicer.  After a pleasant, early morning Starbucks session I walked across the street to the train. I boarded the business class car and sat next to a very polite, and more importantly, very petite, young Black woman. And then a man who I will call Jimmy Crack Corn got on the train. He looked like a typical late 30s white guy with a factory or construction job. He got on the train with a man I assumed was his friend, but then determined was just someone he struck up a conversation.  And by struck up a conversation I mean went on a three hour monologue.

I knew it was trouble because from the beginning Jimmy was too excited to explain every feature of the train and the (almost non-existent) perks of being in business class.  But once the conversation began it became clear that Jimmy had a lot to say.  I actually left to read for an hour in the snack car and when I returned it was like he had not stopped speaking. I knew this because the Black man sitting in front of me trying to read had a wide-eyed look that I had had an hour ago that said, “I can’t believe this guy is talking so much and so loudly” (perhaps “Black reader reacts to white talker” will be the next Tik Tok trend).  But as the largely one-sided conversation continued it hit various notes and I just leaned back and listened.

• Phase 1 was a TMI confessional that included discussions of substance abuse – “smoked crack just to get his former wife off his back” (this is when I gave him the nickname of Crack-Eyed Joe, but Jimmy Crack Corn feels better now), “had drunk drove 300 or 400 times”, his daughter has not seen his ex for 7 years because she is such an addict who doesn’t care, and he said the phrase “long story short” multiple times while telling incredibly long stories with the energy of a former addict whose new addiction was talking
• Phase 2 (return from reading in the snack car) was a discussion of fishing (his favorite activity) and how he doesn’t need to officially marry his current lady because Kurt Russell did just fine without it
• Phase 3 – this is when I start to realize that Jimmy Crack Corn might be the typical American white male voter and perhaps I am lucky to be forced to listen to him talk. He told his neighbor (who I realized through their conversation had been helped to the station by Jimmy, despite being strangers) that: he doesn’t like politics (though he spent 30 minutes talking about politics), thinks Trump is a scumbag, but that Tim Walz is crazy for putting tampons in the boys’ bathroom, that if you can’t rent a car as a kid you shouldn’t be able to change genders as a kid (with a token “I don’t understand it – educate me on it then”), thinks millionaires don’t care about us, thinks the Left is too sensitive, men shouldn’t play women’s sports and that he heard a true story about a kid that identified as a cat
• Phase 4 – toward the end of his seatmate’s ride Jimmy said, “it’s been a pleasure sitting with you. you made three hours feel like 30 minutes. I spend a lot of time alone up here (presumably lives in NC but works north of DC) and I like talking and meeting new people.

I felt like this guy was exactly who politicians on the Left should speak to because he seems to be all of the things with American white males that trouble the Left, but with a desire and willingness to engage.  Why not you J-L?  Because I was still pissed at how little I was able to read for the first part of the trip. But I will admit that I felt like I got a very full picture of someone who represents something important to understanding this country. And if I had talked at all and not been forced to listen, I would not have learned what I learned. That some of these dudes might be reachable, maybe. if you can get men like him to listen for even half as long as he likes to talk.

So this trip gave me everything I like out of comedy – a nice city, a great show, good fans and learning from different people in different places. Thank you to The Black Guy Who Tips and The White Guy Who Wouldn’t Shut Up.