Last week was a fantastic week for me as I got to go back to one of the best clubs in the country, Helium in Philadelphia.  I was the middle act for headliner Bob Marley, but rather than relay this in a series of anecdotes I will make an easily digestible list of all the things that occurred during the 4 days of shows I had in Philadelphia.  But before you do, don’t forget to check out and share my new web series COMEDY ACADEMY.  And be sure to check out my podcast (the link is below) on Stitcher.  I climbed all the way to #73 on their comedy podcast lists (out of thousands I think) and have a little flame next to my podcast to indicate that either I am scorching up the list or that Stitcher thinks I am gay. Either way, check both those things out, but for now enjoy my list of stuff from Philadelphia:

• 40 – The number of CDs I brought to sell
• 30 – The number of Girl Scout Cookies I ate in two nights – 1 box of Samoas pre show Friday and Saturday
• 28 – The number of CDs I sold
• 26 – The awkward number of seconds a woman pressed her breasts against me posing for a picture while her boyfriend figured out the camera on the camera phone.
• 10 – The amount of dollars I spent on a ticket to see Frozen, Disney’s new animated movie., on Saturday afternoon.
• 9 – The number of women kicked out from shows for heckling (in two groups over two shows) or talking loudly during sets.
• 8 – Number of CDs I think I missed out on selling after Friday’s early show because the club owner’s daughter was selling the aforementioned Girl Scout Cookies, giving audience members a tough choice on where to spend post show dollars: cute little girl selling delicious cookies, or desperate giant selling CDS/future coasters. I lost.
• 7 – The number of times I thought headliner Bob Marley might be a yet-to-written Stephen King villain known as The Comedian.  He is from Maine, wealthy and super nice.  Stephen King knows where the bodies are buried.
• 6 – The total number of train rides I took to and from Philly to NYC throughout the four days. Had to commute Wednesday and Thursday.
• 5 – The number of people who asked me if my Dad was really Haitian.
• 4 – The number of people who paused awkwardly when I replied yes.
• 2.3 – The number of miles I walked home to my hotel at 1 am on Friday and Saturday.
• 2 – The number of fans I have in Philadelphia who showed up (that I know). Tina and Tameka.  Much appreciated.
• 1 – The number of fans who walked up to me after a show and said, “Dude, you are the best opener I have ever seen.”  You can now call me the Bull Durham of comedy.

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