I can no longer compare Michelle Obama to Ray Lewis.

Tuesday March 3, 2009 @ Open Mic I said:

“Jeez, Michelle Obama is a big, well built woman.  She’s built like Ray Lewis, but with smaller breasts.  I’m not saying she’s too big, but Tyler Perry is rumored to be playing her in an upcoming biopic.”

Wednesday March 4, 2009 @ Caroline’s Nick DiPaolo said:

“Michelle Obama’s a muscular woman – she’s built like Ray Lewis.”

I admit my joke is a little crude or disrespectful, but there’s no denying that it is funny – I think it is one of my best.  And now I must retire the first portion of the joke. Last night I went to Caroline’s to see Nick DiPaolo, one of my favorite comics, even though I agree with about 10% of his politics because he brings a fu-k you attitude to his comedy that is brutally honest versus about what you see from people and comics day-to-day, which can be brutally fake.

So last night I was sitting in the front of the crowd and I heard DiPaolo say, “Barack’s fine, but what about Michelle?”  And it was at this point that I knew he would talk abut her size.  It was like a 6th sense, but as soon as he said “she’s a muscular woman,” I had this terrifying thought that he would compare her to Ray Lewis.  And he did!  Now, because of this unfortunate coincidence I can no longer tell the non-Tyler Perry part of the joke. When a more famous comedian makes a joke (my first experience of this was when a joke I had about Arnold Schwarzenegger’s family reunion where everyone refers to each other as a Negger – in Arnold’s accent – and 4 months later Dave Chappelle aired the “Niggar Family” sketch, thus making my joke look like a copycat) you have to give it up.  Or face the prospect of being called a joke stealer.  The lawyer in me has compelled me to right this so there is a paper/electronic trail in case I decided to keep the full joke and get called on it.  But I will probably ditch it.

And for those who think the Ray Lewis comparison is too coincidental it makes perfect sense.  Ray Lewis is the most feared linebacker in the NFL, thus putting him up as the best choice to make a humorous comparison, without being some sort of dated/hacky Hulk Hogan/Mr T reference.

I guess the only solution is to get famous fast so I can keep my jokes.