GULMAN vs. CAUVIN

Meeting My Comedic Role Model

In less than one week I will be venturing to Gotham Comedy Club in NYC to see Comedian Gary Gulman. If you have looked at my links page you will see that he is the first comic listed under my “favorite comics.” I suggest that you check out his site and buy his cd. It is hilarious. But enough free advertising.

Other than his comedic genius I think the real reason I appreciate Gary Gulman is beacuse there are many startling similarities between our lives (and last names – 6 letters each). You be the judge (side note – all info listed for Gary Gulman is from his cd and myspace page and in no way reflects a White Goodman-esque use of the Freedom of Information Act – “finally the hippies got something right”):

HEIGHT

GG – 6’6″

JLC – 6’7″ (+1 for me)

HOMETOWN

GG – Boston

JLC – NYC (+1 me)

COLLEGE

GG – Boston College

JLC – Williams College (According to US News and World Report +1 me, but both located in Mass.)

COLLEGE SPORT

GG – Football

JLC – Basketball (D1 football = +3 for Gulman, benchwarmer in DIII = -1 me)

LIVED AT HOME UNTIL…

GG – 26

JLC – 27 and counting (+1 Gulman, although struggle and sadness is supposed to enhance a comedy career so this may end up proving huge for me, plus I have grad school loans)

GRAD SCHOOL

GG – Last Comic Standing

JLC – Georgetown law (-1 me)

MY SPACE FRIENDS

GG – 2000+

JLC – 91 (let’s just call this one +1 for GG)

DAY JOB

GG – former accountant

JLC – lawyer (draw)

HBO SPECIAL

GG – Tourgasm w/ Dane Cook

JLC – Prema-Tour Ejaculation (GG +1)

OLDER SYBLING MAKING MORE MONEY

GG – yes (as of cd)

JLC – doubled up by older brother (draw)

WEB DESIGNER

GG – Worthy Concepts Inc.

JLC – Worthy Concepts Inc. (imitation is the sincerest form of flattery – draw, +1 Steve Axworthy)

So right now it appears that Gulman is kicking my ass like Bill Romanowski (steroided ex-BC football player). Even worse is that when I see Gulman in 6 days I will not yet have my cd (it will not be available until the end of the month). The reason that this is bad is becasue I wanted to do my own version of Hustle and Flow. Allow me to explain:

In the movie Hustle and Flow a pimp (Terrance Howard) learns that a hometown hustler turned platinum rapper (Ludacris) is coming back to town for a show. He decides to work on his demo to get it to Ludacris. He gets it to Ludacris and thinks that he has made a connection, only to find out that Ludacris threw it in the toilet in the bathroom. In response, Terrance Howard shoots Ludacris, goes to jail, but has one of his “bitches” bring the tape to radio station and Howard’s “Whoop that trick” becomes a radio hit.

Now I am aware that I do not have a gun, hustling abilities or whores, so I was just hoping to deliver my cd to Gulman and mumble “let me know what you think please.” But I won’t have the cd yet so I will have to just say, “Funny stuff man.” And then I will try to awkwardly explain one of my jokes to him and why it is awesome and he will politely laugh and say “that could be funny, but right now some chick wants me to sign her cleavage.” And then I will ask my girlfriend what the f–k is she doing? +1 Gulman

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