Best and Worst Fan Mail – Des Moines’ Fairwell To Me

Normally I like to save my posts on this site to praise or destroy different things, but outside of the South I don’t think I have ever discussed comedy fans negatively.  But this week I would like to discuss comedy fans or, more specifically, a comedy fan.  I was in Des Moines, Iowa last week performing at the Funny Bone. The crowds were great, even though most left the club after as if they were trying beat Usain Bolt’s record in the 100 meters.   However, one fan made me feel particularly flattered and simultaneously scared for my safety.

I usually don’t do “story telling,” but this sequence was too special to not share.  So here is a little insight into my comedy life on the road and the closest I may ever get to feeling like a rock star with a stalker.  It may be my favorite thing I have ever done on stage – feel free to send to any comedy fan (or any comedians you know).

Some emails of hers were accidentally omitted, but the final one I received (after my set) was priceless.  I walked near the bar by the club to see if she was there (never went in), because I still had a suspicion that it was a joke by the emcee.  Well she was there and when I returned to the club after my reconnaissance mission I received another brief e-mail exchange:

Pretty/Sad/Potentially Psycho Fan: I saw you outside are you coming in?

Me: Oh you did?  I was looking to see if the pizza place was open.  I can’t.  Our ride for the hotel is leaving now.  Thanks for coming to the show.

PSPPF: Pizza?  You could have had pussy fag.

Even when they like you in comedy, they hate you.