The Worst Show of My Life

Was this what the Civil Rights Movement Was About?

Tuesday was a great day. Two things happened in particular.

One – I had just been booked last minute to do a show at Medgar Evers’ College in Brooklyn – 15 minutes for $50. NICE!

Two – I am a representative for my office at a Police Precinct in the Bronx. At that meeting I learned that an abandonned baby had been found and that the officer who found the baby and brought it to the hospital had just recently adopted the baby. It was one of those moments where someone like me, who has seen their faith diminish every year since law school and the Bush administration began, paused and said, “There really is still good in the world.” Then my show at Medgar Evers’ College occurred tonight and all those good thoughts went far, far away.

Medgar Evers’ was a Civil Rights figure killed by James Woods, married to Whoopie Goldberg and avenged by Alec Baldwin (in Ghosts of Mississippi). I don’t know much about him, but Iearned an important thing about him. Apparently he fought and gave his life so that a 2/3 empty auditorium of students could boo, hiss, heckle and flaunt their stupidity on September 27, 2006 at a college named after him.

The crowd began heckling for the second comic of the night and they did not stop until I got off the stage (comedian Elon James White did command the aduience quite well after me). I made many mistakes during my set. Here are some:

1) I tried material. This crowd did not want to hear material. They wanted to hear themselves.

2) I did not check my IQ at the door. It is hard to get into witty exchanges with a heckling crowd when many of them are too dumb to get the retorts. In their minds you always suck because they shout at you, you make fun of them, they don’t get it and think you suck more. Furthermore – the crowd would “ooooo” and “aahhhhh” at jokes that were not offensive – ones that would rank a .5 on an offensive scale of 10. A heckler also shouted at me “You could play basketball,” when I got on stage. A keen eye like that will make sure that the appropriate level of salt is on my McDonald’s french fries one day.

3) I kept trying to get through material. When that did not work I then got the hook, almost literally. If the host had a hook he would have latched it to my neck and yanked me off.

This show was the worst show I have ever had in 3 years and 4 months of comedy. I am most mad that I am letting a bunch of dumb hecklers who probably forged their GED results to get the best of me. I left the show immediately because I felt bad things would happen if I stayed. Now it is Brooklyn so bad things would have probably ended with me and bullet holes, or I may have hurt someone.

And comedy is not about hurting other people. It is about hurting yourself through experiences like this show.

What’s worse for me is that when I told the crowd that I was half-Hatian, they seemed to turn on me. I guess they did not believe me and thought I was trying to claim the Haitian popularity that’s all the rage these days. They saw an Italian-looking dude on stage adn didn’t want to adjust their collective mindset. If Medgar Evers’ and the Civil Rights Movement stood for anything it was that people should be judged by their appearance alone and not on the basis of the character, experiences and background.

Now I do not want to just be a “club comic.” I want to be able to work colleges and other venues, but I don’t want to have to check my brain at the door and become a comic that I am not.

So I will get a good night’s sleep, lift weights tomorrow with a Drago/Clubber Lang-like anger and try ot work on my routine for Gotham on Tuesday.

But one thank you to a woman in the crowd when one heckler said “You ain’t funny,” she replied, “Yes he is!” Thank you, but I hate your classmates.