Mission Accomplished

At 10 AM on March 10, 2006 I stepped onto the Peter Pan Bus at Port Authority Bus Terminal excited that a mere 4 hours and 50 minutes later I would arrive at Williams College and that a mere 11 hours stood between me and comedy glory. A bus trip that long gives a man time to contemplate many things like, “Why don’t I have a car so I could cut 2 hours off of this trip” and Why are buses only comfortable for people under 6’4″?”

On the bus I saw the wife of Williams College Professor Robert Dalzell (he wrote me a recomendation for law school – so thanks Professor for convincing Georgetown that I was worthy of torturing for three years).

When I got off the bus 6 days later I first made sure that I was not permanently crippled. After I realized that my legs would recover from the bus ride I checked into the Williams Inn, which is the Ritz Carlton of Williamstown, as evidenced by the fact that that evening was Nursing Home Team Trivia night. If only I didn’t have to do this comedy show. As it turns out the trivia night is simply one question asked over and over again for two hours.

I then walked around campus for a few hours with no one to talk to because apparently students find it odd when lone 26 year olds ask them “where the hot girls live on campus?”

Then I got a phone call from Humorist Danny Rouhier, the show”s headliner. We laughed, we cried, we reminisced and then we got dinner at the Water Street Grill. While there he and I tried to outjoke each other with the waitress (I won).

Then it was finally showtime. Well, actually not yet – first there was some guy reciting the Gospel of Mark from 7 pm-9pm at our venue. The guy was sort of like Brother Justin from the HBO show Carnivale minus the charisma, presence, theme music and followers.

Then it was showtime. I went on stage first and did a solid 35 minute set. I think the highlight for the kids was my Owen Wilson impression. I also realized that I was old. I felt like if I told any jokes about VCRs, kids would be asking “is that like a dvd player?” It aslso dawned on me that jokes about Gerardo (“Rico Suave”) are limited basically to people born the same month as me – anyone else will not relate. Jokes about Gary Glitter’s pedophilia met with mixed reactions.

I then brought up headliner Danny Rouhier (www.funnydanny.com) whose highlights for me were actually his jokes about Williams College and his Bill Cosby impression. He also continues to show that if you are funny a crowd will not care if your voices for gay men sound identical to your voices for women. After the show we partied like only Williams College kids party, which means soberly with discussions of random pop culture. We went and had some snacks at the dining hall (I had a hamburger and a chocolate milkshake). We then went back to a freshman dorm and traded jokes with some frehman hoops players. At 2 am I retired to my room at the Williams Inn realizing that after all of my expenses the trip would actually cost me about $30.

So I say to Williams College – you’re welcome.

Check out the photos from my trip in the “photos” section of the blog.