Sh-t falling from the sky

Today when I was walking back from my lunchtime stroll (I know, I am about 25 years too young to stroll at lunchtime) a funny thing happened that requires a short re-telling.

I was walking towards Sheridan Avenue on 158th Street when a very full and very used diaper came falling from the sky and landed about 5 feet behind me.

Now I am a glass half full kind of guy so I was thrilled to see that a baby was not in the diaper. But I had to wonder if someone was throwing it at me or just normally throws sh-t filled diapers out of their windows.

The best part was the woman walking about 20 feet behind me said (interrupting her own cell phone conversation), “What the fu-k is you doing throwing shi–y diapers out your fu–in’ window? That’s why motherfu–ers think this ain’t sh-t!” (back to cell phone conversation) Fu-k that ni-ga, I would straight up fu-k that nig-a up!” Examining her words carefully you will see the definition of irony.

It’s good to know that in this city where real estate is getting more and more expensive, there will always be an area that I will be able to afford. “This place is a bit of a fixer upper, but it’s close to the subway, you have high ceilings and you’ll be near work. The only thing is sometimes you have to watch out for flying human feces and the knife wielding women who hate them.”

I’ll take it.