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Who is the Next Lebron James (for trolls)?

The NBA season got started last night and Lebron James and the Miami Heat easily dispatched with the fully recovered Chicago Bulls.  With three Finals appearances and back-to-back titles for Lebron in the last three seasons, only those with Tea Party-to-Obama level hate/obsession with Lebron can still find fault with the man as a player.  He has delivered in every single way that critics demanded and now he is to that next level of “Can he be the greatest of all time” phase of his career, now that he is clearly “one of the all time greats.” (Please click HERE for last year’s tour de force post before Game 7 of the Finals or this gem from right before Lebron’s 2012 Game 6 against the Celtics, i.e. I have always been right). But before the Lebron Tea Party gets fired up and starts spouting Michael Jordan stats at me, that is not the point of this blog.  The point is that in our Internet troll, never apologize, just-move-on-to-the-next-potential-carcass-for-www-vultures culture, it is time to start picking apart NBA stars who are the next “he sucks because he has not won a title” guys.  Never mind that in history, if Lebron ends up as a top 5 or better player of all time we will eventually regard players who lost to him as all time greats anyway (no one really rips Malone, Barkley, Stockton, Payton, or Ewing anymore for not defeating Michael Jordan – in hindsight it merely elevates Jordan’s legacy for vanquishing so many worthy opponents).  And never mind that all of these guys on the list are under 30 years old.  Because we are in the age and spirit of Twitter, the Internet is sure to be full of blogs questioning the heart, commitment, skills and toughness of lots of guys in the next year or so.  So here are the guys I think are up for the New Lebron (for trolls) Award:

(Quick Side note – I think Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is sort of right to be annoyed that he is always left out of GOAT discussions – 6 MVPs, 5 titles, all-time leading NBA scorer and a high school and college phenom who fulfilled all of his promise – just a thought – even though his sky hook was sort of like a video game cheat move that respectable gamers would ban each other from using).

The formula I use is a non-scientific combination of talent + exposure + opportunity + fun to watch (because trolls especially love trashing people who are fun to watch so they appear more grounded and knowledgeable):

8. Carmelo Anthony – I think he barely makes the list because very few people outside of NY believe that Anthony really has the game or mentality to actually lead a team to a title.  I think after the Knicks get bounced in the first round of the playoffs this year people will sort of justifiably stop even worrying about whether Melo is a champion.  But for this year, being in NY will be enough for there to be lots of “Melo is not a winner” chatter.  I actually agree with this one.

7. Blake Griffin – one of the most fun players to watch makes him a prime target for armchair experts to question his commitment (HE’S ALSO IN LOTS OF FUN COMMERCIALS!) and whether he is working on his game enough. Because Chris Paul gets the “amazing leader/culture changer” label that Kevin Garnett got to have going to Boston, the main heat will continue to fall on the fun, but flawed star.

6. Steph Curry – Since he was so explosive last year (and as fun to watch as a guard as Griffin is as a big man, probably even more fun) that gives trolls an immediate chance to be the first to declare Steph Curry “overrated” or “lacking in championship DNA.”

5. Paul George – the darling surprise of last year’s playoffs is a very complete player. Young, rangy, plays well on both sides of the floor are all good qualities, but a year after America even discovered this guy if he loses to Lebron again, instead of giving greatness credit to Lebron they will start asking of a 24 year old, “Will he EVER win a title????”

4. James Harden-Dwight Howard – Dwight (or Da-Wight if you are any number of excitable black journalists on television) Howard is such a (somewhat deservedly) reviled doofus in the NBA that I think they will tire of bashing him and allow some of their hate to drip on to James Harden. Like George, Harden shocked dummies last year with how well he played as a number one target (which then forced people to switch from praising Harden to troll the Oklahoma City Thunder for being “so stupid” to let him go) that now trolls are hoping they can start calling him overrated and say that he and Howard are not winners, if they do not win in their first year together in a very deep western conference.

3. Deron Williams – not as good as a few of the players listed below, but trolls love burying guys forever and if Deron cannot make a serious title run with Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce, Jason Terry, Joe Johnson and Brook Lopez then he will have done the least with the most among top tier teams.  And Brook Lopez and Joe Johnson are not serious enough to hate and Pierce and Garnett are now 45 year old champions so it all falls on Deron.  He may not be considered as good as some players on this list, but haters and trolls smell a carcass near the end if he fails to win and that makes them salivate.

2. Derrick Rose – Injuries and hate of the Heat have given Derrick Rose a pass (hate of Lebron forced people to ignore that Lebron shut Rose down late in the 2011 series when they played), but now that he is healthy, has a team people think can challenge the Heat and he stayed out all last season (the haters and trolls started to take a whiff of Rose when he sat out the whole playoffs, as if preparing for a full attack on him if he fails to dethrone Lebron in 2013-14).  The nation loves Rose as an anti-Lebron, but he may become their new Lebron if he fails to make noise this year.

1. Kevin Durant – I saw it happen last year on social media and it pissed me off.  Durant went from “I might take him ahead of Lebron if I had to start a franchise today” guy to “He cannot lead a team and is not complete enough (even though he went to the playoffs without his two best players that he had going to the Finals the year before).”  Ignoring that he was a 3 time scoring champ by age 24, that he led a team to the NBA finals at 23 and that his game continues to methodically improve, haters did not have Lebron to hate anymore so they moved on to the next best thing. Which is the best compliment one can give to Kevin Durant.

For more opinions, comedy and bridge burning check out the Righteous Prick Podcast on Podomatic, iTunes and NOW on STICHER. New Every Tuesday so subscribe on one or more platforms today – all for free!

Blog

The Aftermath… Greatest Comments on “Louis CK Tells the…

Yesterday I posted a video to the Internet.  It is over 100,000 views as of today. It took less than 24 hours for it to double my total YouTube views of four years.  So needless to say it was pretty cool to see it getting shared everywhere.  And thanks to the comedians who seemed to wholeheartedly embrace it and more importantly, understand it.  But if all the praise were universal that would be no fun, especially for me.  I like to stay humbled and I like to hear what the average Internet viewer thinks about content and about content providers. And thanks to YouTube, Laughspin, and Huffington Post I have a wealth of positive and thoughtful comments to keep me encouraged as I develop my next video (which may be another comedy video or involve an impression of Biggie, The Rock or President Obama). So before sharing with you my favorite ten comments from the last 24 hours, please enjoy (and share) the video:

So without further adieu here are my favorite unedited comments (thanks to all the people who posted nice compliments, but you did not make the cut):

HUFFINGTON POST:

1. Unfunny. I suppose that was the point, but many people like Louis CK. Had this been about Dane Cook, it’d be hilarious.

2. Boy he sucks. Go back to Elvis impersonations you wad.

3. Wow. Embarrassingly unfunny. Who did this guy blow to get this kind of publicity?

LAUGHSPIN (which primed the audience by titling the article “Comedians mocks Louis CK” completely buying in to what I made fun of – the non-judgmental hero worship of the comedy deity CK has been turned into)

1.The ravings of a jealous comedian addicted to the bitter aftertaste of sour grapes. This guy can only mock someone else’s success instead of getting off his lazy ass and creating something original and dare I say, humorous. Not worthy of your publication’s time or space.

And save the best for last… YOUTUBE

1. this is so awful. Impression was well done

2. this is like louis ck at his worst. comedy sucked, impression was good otherwise.

3. this would have been funny if someone as good as louis ck had written it for you

4. the only part missing in your impression was actually being funny

5. this is fucking cringeworthy

6. this is garbage

7. You captured the man’s voice effectively. (Sorry I had to include this – like a polite person got lost in a shitty dive bar known as YouTube)

8. imagine how much less funny this would be if it didn’t refer to Louis C.K

9. I am all about trying to make fun of anyone but this was painfully unfunny. This guy sucks

10. You could literally do this to any comedian, pretty stupid and pointless to hate on C.K.

11. Any time someone no one knows or has ever heard of tries to make a name by talking shit about someone who deserves everything he has because he’s earned it, it comes off as sour grapes.

12. GO SKATE INTO AN AIDS TREE YOU MOTHERFUCKER

So I take it as a badge of honor that the 10-15% of viewers who have responded negatively to the video do not understand satire, parody or the idea of an impression.  But most importantly they have proved the bigger point – that Louis CK has achieved an infallibility in their minds, which is what makes him ripe for parody.  So thanks to everyone else who got it – you are in the 80+ IQ club.  Everyone else – good luck with your lives and thanks for giving me a blog post for the day!

Now I just have to grasp the fact that any success that comes from this will be a result of YouTube, Twitter and Louis CK fans, three things I am always complaining about.

Dont forget to buy tickets to my new stand up album recording May 18th 9pm in New York City HERE

For more opinions, comedy and bridge burning check out the Righteous Prick Podcast on Podomatic or iTunes