Harry Potter was a no-brainer for the movie of the week. The other semi-notable film opening was a Winnie The Pooh movie, providing a ton of things that children DON’T want. First off, did anyone think Winnie The Pooh was good, even when you were a child? Incredibly boring and stupid characters (if marketing to kids and not British adults in their 50s) – a soft spoken bear, a manic depressive donkey, a flamboyantly gay tiger, a rabbit, a kangaroo, a piglet and I think a British owl (because when I was a kid I know I was a big fan of late 1970s Brit-coms). Take that Looney Tunes! These guys could not even do research like Pixar so that at least the animals in the forest could conceivably co-exist in the same ecosystem (a blue whale living in a nearby lake was nixed last minute). So we are simultaneously boring children and making them dumber as well. And reaching back for Winnie The Pooh represents a new low (see upcoming Space Invaders and this Summer’s crop of third tier comic book-based movies) in Hollywood’s inability or refusal to come up with new ideas. Now they are simply banking on, “Hey I heard of that. Did I like it? Of course not, but I heard of it, so I will see it!” level apathy among movie goers. Next Summer – Pet Rock: The Movie.
Then WTP movie is hand drawn. Because what kids want nowadays is boring cartoons drawn in an old fashioned-style. Could they not make it black and white also? Then there is the preview for Winnie The Pooh, which apparently takes itself too seriously as nostalgia. Winnie The Pooh sucked! Playing Keane’s “Somewhere Only We Know” does not make a piece of sh*t nostalgia just because you are slamming me in the face with a nostalgia hammer. Then you open it the weekend of Harry Potter? I don’t believe Harry Potter to be as great as some, but it is certainly solid and very popular, so who exactly is Winnie trying to court this weekend – evangelical Christians who protest movies abut wizardry? Good luck with those 580 people nationwide. Your other demographic is people who are disappointed by sold out shows of Harry Potter, but cannot wait 8 minutes until the next showtime. “Hey kids, Harry Potter is sold out, but there is a huge piece of sh*t playing right now – how’s that sound?” I hope Winnie The Pooh is a colossal failure and that a hunter kills Winnie and molests Christopher Robbins. That ought to end that franchise once and for all. Just be happy Winnie – you can get married in NY, why do you need a movie as well.
If you want to vomit here is the preview for Winnie The Pooh stain:
As for Harry Potter 7.2 or as the woman purchasing tickets ahead of me said to avoid any confusion, “1 ticket for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2” (you know, to make sure there was no confusion about which Harry Potter film she was seeing), it was very good. Now, of course, I was offended that they broke the final book (which is becoming the trend) into two parts, which yielded an exceedingly boring 7.1 last year, but this finale was action packed (and allowed Harry Potter to pass Police Academy on the all-time list of “Did we really need that many movies?” which of course is still topped by the Bill Russell/Yogi Berra of prolific shi*ty film franchises – Friday the 13th). No one who likes this series will be disappointed, unless you were hoping Hermione would have sprouted a bigger rack by now. My only complaint is the same complaint I have with every other film in this series, and most films in general – not enough Alan Rickman. The dude is an acting beast. Few people can do with an entire script what he can do with a silent stare of disdain.
But since I have read the books and seen all of the movies I will now go back to hoping that we return to the days where timeless classics required a long duration of time before we declared them “historic” or “timeless.” I feel like Harry Potter was getting “beloved classic” thrown about halfway between the printing of the 4th of 7 books. In our time we have no patience for the time needed to marinate a work of art into a classic because we want what we like to have more cultural relevance (ironic, given that outside of television drama I feel like most art is in a downward spiral – I am talking to you poetry slammers!). Harry Potter will have more staying power than “sagas” (another word overused to described for modern drivel) like Twilight for sure, but we should not diminish Harry Potter or the word classic by joining the two in the same sentence. Harry Potter was a pleasant literary and cinematic journey, but let’s not pretend it will have the staying power of other amazing works of fiction. Like Winnie The Pooh.
Grade – B+