So I have been a “full time comedian” for a little over 4 months. I have booked some feature spots,dropped 18 lbs (through diet and exercise – cocaine weight loss will be when I become a famous comedian and can’t make as much time for the gym) and was pleased with the one television audition I had (though every day I get increasingly nervous about getting the spot). I’ve begun acting classes and writing beyond stand up. The question now is, after e-mails, writing, working out, sleeping and performing, what do I do with the other 14 hours of my day?
One option is reading. I recently finished The Bonfire of the Vanities, which basically set the bar so high that writing reality-based fiction seems to be too lofty a goal for a comedian and blogger.
Next option is more writing. As I begin trying to write a script I am also using a lot of my time to watch The West Wing – I have banged out 5 1/2 seasons in approximately 4 weeks, which is the best streak of my career since I did 4 seasons of the Wire (a nerdy pre-Season 5 recap) in two weeks. This show, more so than The Sopranos and even The Wire, has raised the bar on writing a serious show and has made me think that I should probably stick to shows with the depth of Two and a Half Men.
I have also found moments during this four month stretch where I have had e-mail and Facebook exchanges stretching into two hours in length, and not one was an in depth Twitter exchange on Iranian politics.
So I am pretty sure I can keep this up for another 6-12 months (and financially for 18 months), but the question is what to do with my time before I start hatcheting up a hotel? And that is scary considering my bench and squat numbers are back to my college level (idle time is apparently the Devil’s creatine as well).
I guess at some point a job may be needed just to keep my sanity. But I think I should pick a job that would at least enhance some episodes of my show if based on my life.
- One option is working at a Starbucks across the street from my old firm. A few priceless moments of awkwardness.
- Or I could work at the oddly placed porn shop near my apartment – never thought of Turtle Bay as a mecca for seediness. Those scenes would show my putting down my notepad or a Pulitzer Prize winning biography to ring up Anal Sluts 4. Seems a little too gimmicky.
- Try to make money the easy way, by frequenting the OTB across the street from my apartment building – making me the only person there under the age of 50 and not smelling of tobacco.
- Get cast in a few commercials as “tall, racially ambiguous male #1”.
Whatever – time to go to the gym.