My First Day As A Stuntman

A couple of days ago I was asked by College Humor in partnership with the NY-based sketch group Elephant Larry to be an extra in one of their on-line videos.  The video itself is basically a re-imagining of a generic action film if the DVD commentary were actual dialogue during the movie.  I knew I was an extra because my character’s title was “Thug.”  Despite only taking acting classes for 9 months it is good to see that I have already found my niche in the acting world: silent, intimidating, large background character.  The pay was only $50, but to take a couple of punches in the background of a scene and eat free snacks in the green room, it seemed like a no-brainer.  It seemed like that because I had not met Lucas, the professional stuntman who I would be sparring with.

When I got to the warm rooftop to shoot the scene I met Lucas – a man who wore all black and looked how I would imagine Vladimir Putin looked in his physical prime with the KGB.  Sort of like a light-middleweight Taekwondo  world champion.  The Elephant Larry guys asked us if we wanted to “work out our fight sequences.” This certainly seemed like a set up for something more complicated than “I will fake punch you and hit my chest at the same time so it sounds like I hit you,” which is the level of fight choreography technique that I was bringing to the table.

So for the next 15 minutes I worked out various punch and kick combos with Lucas, with me receiving all shots to the face and abdomen (this was as much a fight as Mike Tyson versus HurricanePeter McNeeley was).  I only got punched in the face once and kneed in the face once so I guess it was not too bad, but I knew we were off the reservation when the College Humor and Elephant Larry people started looking at Lucas and the damage he was inflicting the way Steve Buscemi looked at Peter Stormare in Fargo when it was revealed that Stormare’s character was actually a homicidal maniac.

So we acted out a few fight sequences, which I was told looked great (and all ended with me rolling around, thrown to the ground on a filthy, tar-splattered Brooklyn rooftop).  At one point I actually had the real feeling of being choked and caught a kick to the nose, but overall it was quite fun and convinced me that if I really need money I could always be an MMA sparring partner.  And for future casting, Lucas will definitely be played by Jean Claude Van Damme in a humorous cameo.

Afterwards, my right arm and neck have the appearance like I cheated on Elin Woods with a Hooters’ waitress, but College Humor ponied up an extra $100 for cleaning bills and emotional damage.  I actually though this would be a great idea for a hybrid show of Jackass and Punk’d – you tell someone that they’ve been picked for a sketch on a comedy website, only to find out they are actually going to be subjected to physical punishment.

Most importantly  the shoot had an incredibly therapeutic effect on my mood, proving that sometimes getting your ass kicked can make you feel a lot better about losing in a comedy contest.