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The Metro-North & Megabus Tour: Stamford to Philadelphia

Rock Bands have their own private 747s.  John Madden had his own tricked-out bus for his coast-to-coast travel during football seasons.  Well from last Saturday to this coming Sunday I have Metro-North and Megabus.

My Metro-North tour was a one night round trip to Stamford, Connecicut this past Saturday ($18.50 in total travel costs – already a win).  Great show, nice town.  Based on the Metro North clientele on both trips I would say that it appears financial services employees (on the way to Stamford) and their scantily-clad daughters or potential 4th wives (on the trip back to NYC) are the bulk of Stamford’s populace. Whatever the case may be, it was a great show in Stamford and really great to be in the black after a gig.

This week I finally feature at Helium Comedy Club in Philadelphia.  The club has a great reputation, but the one drawback is that I am not getting a room for the weekend (for more on the life of a feature act please rent Roots).  That means instead of being an Amtrak tour (the usual unofficial sponsor of my travels east of Chicago) it will be a Megabus tour, probably making me the only person, other than Megabus drivers, that commutes to and from work by Megabus.

For any fans in Philadelphia or NYC here is the “tour” info:

May 19th

345pm Megabus to Philly

800pm show

1047 SEPTA/NJ Transit

May 20th

345pm Megabus to Philly

8, 1030 pm shows

240 am Megabus to NYC

May 21st

345pm Megabus to Philly

8, 1030 pm shows

240 am Megabus to NYC

May 22nd

wake up and wonder what the fu*k I was thinking.

So tell your friends in Philly if they want to see a giant limp around on stage due to cramped Megabus seating they should check out a show at Helium this weekend (Thurs-Sat.).  And to Philadelphia – you are welcome in advance.

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Beantown Highlights

Two great shows in Boston at Nick’s Comedy Stop this weekend.  Here are the highlights:

  • Handed out about 80 courtesy cards and only found 1 on the floor/ground/surrounding trashcans.  Highest ratio yet.
  • Best compliment that was really disgust at my show from an older woman: “Well, good job.  That was…educational.”
  • Worst positive compliment I got: “That di-k in the ass joke was hilarious!”
  • Most common compliment: “Great Obama!”
  • Best movie I saw in Boston – The Wolfman
  • Only movie I saw in Boston – The Wolfman
  • Joke that garnered almost no laughter: “NBA All Star game in Dallas this weekend, which is also known as ‘the weekend where tall black men from Dallas can walk around the Dallas shopping mall without getting harassed. ‘ Don’t want a nother Oprah situation.” Nothing.
  • Amount of Facebook fans from Boston added as of today: 0

My favorite moment of the trip actually occurred when I got off of Megabus at 4:30 am Sunday morning on 27th and 8th ave in NYC.  There were about five police cars outside of a bar called Mustang Sallys.  Many black women were yelling and shouting and several of them were walking shoeless into the 1 train station.  One shouted, “Taneesha!” And the woman who I presumed was Taneesha yelled, “I don’t care! When I see that bitch I am going to fu-k her up!”  I felt like Axl Rose getting off the bus in the Welcome to the Jungle video.  So thanks to Taneesha for giving me a short story to end what would have been a boring bullet point list about my trip to Boston.