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The Conservative Comedy Cheat Code

This past weekend, during an exhausting journey to get to Philadelphia to watch my Utah Jazz defeat the Philadelphia 76ers (join my Patreon to hear the saga in a bonus podcast episode) I saw several billboards and ads for comedians coming to the Wells Fargo Arena, where the 76ers play.  One stuck out to me and that was the ad for Jeff Dunham’s show.  Obviously, it first offends me that a ventriloquist can headline an arena, for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is from 1000 feet away does it even matter if he’s moving his lips or not?  But Dunham’s comedy is really elite hackery. Obviously plenty of people like it because there are lots of simpletons in our country.  But there has always been a strain to his humor that felt like a wink and a nod to the “conservative” (I put it in quotes because what we really mean by “conservative” now is religious hypocrites, racists and greedy, myopic assholes) crowd. It was simple and harmless, but had just enough bland bigotry in some of the characters to appeal to their soon-to-be-MAGA hearts.  But with Dunham’s new show, he has given away the game.

Jeff Dunham’s new show is called “Still Not Canceled” because PG rated ventriloquists are on the front lines of speech and comedy, right?  The only thing that could and should cancel Jeff Dunham Puppetry of the Peanut is good taste.  But that is not what he is suggesting or better yet, what he is lack-of-virtue signaling.  He is sending a thinly veiled message to his fans and their ilk that his comedy is an enemy of the dreaded “woke mob.”  And that is the new algorithm cheat code for right wing comedians (and ventriloquists) and grifters.

When they came for Jeff Dunham I said nothing, because I hate his act and no one actually came to cancel him

Similar to Bill Maher and Ricky Gervais, the conservative comedy crowd (of which there are funny people – I am not going to take the low hanging , and incorrect fruit of some of my left leaning fans who will reflexively say “conservatives aren’t funny” when my personal experience is a lot more pushback from liberals whenever my jokes touch on anything deemed sacred to them (e.g. a tweet making fun of Hunter Biden for being loved less than Beau Biden earned quick condemnation from my “fans” while there was no end to the joy my Jeff Epstein and Donald Trump having sex with underage girl references)) never seems to get bored of hearing the same attacks on “wokeism” or “cancel culture.”  It’s like every topic can be hack or overdone to them, but as long as you complain about wokeness, or deride a liberal talking point with a stereotypical gay accent, it is a never ending stream of originality and humor.  Just like the Left has proven themselves humorless sometimes when a topic is not to their liking, the Right seems to ignore the staleness of the bitching and moaning because it validates their beliefs.  But it is bad comedy.

And now, to use one of the few Latin phrases I remember and like from law school, we have reached the reductio ad absurdum point of the “cancel culture” warrior phase of comedy. Jeff Dunham, promoting an entire tour as “I have not been canceled yet.”  Perhaps his poster should be the famous photo of Malcolm X holding an assault rifle looking out of his window, but with one of his puppets’ heads superimposed on Malcolm’s.  The chances of Jeff Dunham being canceled are about as high as my new special going platinum (Half-Blackface totally should, but should and will are a universe apart).  But this is the point now – Dunham is sending the very clear message that funny is less important that culture war signaling.  Even if that is completely absurd. Only complete idiots would be motivated to see a ventriloquist with 1980s stereotypical puppets simply because he had made the ridiculous claim that he had evaded cancellation… so far!  But apparently, judging by the size of the Wells Fargo arena, Jeff Dunham’s dummies will have a lot of company this week.

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Jeff Dunham Announces New Puppets For 2012!

Great news for the millions of Jeff Dunham fans – he has announced a new roster of puppets to satisfy his followers who thirst for new and cutting edge material.  Known for turning all white crowds into def jam audiences with his hilarious puppets like “Crotchety Old Guy,” “Purple Dude,” “Mexican Pepper,” and everyone’s favorite “Terrorist Skeleton,” (admittedly I have seen Dunham’s work, but have not paid much attention to the names) Dunham has decided to create five new characters for his 2012 tour.  Based on the core of Dunham’s wild success, which is producing mild humor through blandly prejudiced or stereotypical puppets, his new characters will continue his brand.  He will offer fresh material through his new voices that can only be categorized as “Diet Mencia.”  So look out in 2012 for the Dunham Fab Five:

 

Santorum – Dressed in his traditional sweater vest, Santorum is everyone’s favorite woman hating puppet.  He has been getting big laughs by telling crowds that he only performs comedy for the purposes of conception and that no one should go to college (applause line).  And nothing gets the crowd laughing more than when he throws tiny stones at Dunham during arguments.

Bachmann – After complaints from various comedy lobbying groups about Dunham only having one female puppet, Dunham has added a another female to the lineup. She wins the crowd over by asking if any men want objects in their butt because “that’s how we do it in the Bachmann home.” She also mocks Dunham for his belief that science is responsible for the microphone producing sound, much to the delight of the crowd.

Herman Cain – Wearing a pimp hat, Herman Cain is the Dunham puppet that can’t stop chatting it up with all the ladies in Dunham’s audiences.  He always kills crowds with his Dunham-penned catchphrases of “I loves white womens,” and “I got 9 inches for 9 ladies starting at 9 tonight!”

Nuge – armed with a guitar that fires bullets, Nuge is Dunham’s highest energy puppet since “Purple Dude.”  When Dunham insists that President Obama is not a Muslim, Nuge proudly declares that he will “leave the stage in a laundry hamper” if Dunham doesn’t recant. When Dunham gives in it usually gets a standing ovation.

The Ghost of Trayvon Martin – giving Terrorist Skeleton a run for his money as Dunham’s new closer, this puppet comes dressed in his traditional hoodie, holding a pack of skittles and iced-tea, both of which he tosses to a lucky fan during the set.  The Trayvon puppet gets Dunham’s crowds howling with laughter with lines like “The New Black Panthers are going to get you,” and “The last time I killed this bad I was running from neighborhood watch!”

So get those tickets now – as they will undoubtedly sell out.