Last night I was taken to Rock of Ages for my birthday. It was an incredibly well-thought out gift (which makes sense because it was the same gift-giver who got me a Paul Millsap official game jersey for Valentine’s Day) because of my semi-obsession with American Idol (the play stars Constantine Maroulis – the most absurd American Idol finalist not named Sanjaya) and the fact that the play features a couple dozen rock anthems from the 1980s, a/k/a my favorite music.
The theater was packed last night, but I noticed some things that intrigued me. One was the woman sitting one row behind me. On a scale of 1 to 10, she was a 14. Literally looked like a model/movie star. But what made me a little sad was that there was a 90% chance that she was a prostitute. She was there with a below average looking guy in his mid 40s (she looked about 26). Now my first inclination was that she was just a gold digger, but if that was the case, the guy would have been trying to show off with orchestra seats (instead of the balcony where we all were). Second, I heard her speak and she did not have a foreign accent, which ruled out some sort of mail-order/Green Card situation. Third, the guy sitting next to her client/man was talking to them and had his hand on her hip, the way two customers at a video store could look at the same box for a video before both renting it. I cannot be completely sure that she was a prostitute, but I can surmise that she has a terrible relationship with her father (I ruled this option out when I saw them kissing, unless he is her father, but most fathers not named Joe Simpson or Michael Lohan would not let their daughter go out for a father-daughter night out dressed like a Bond girl.
The other thing I noticed is how many douchebags were in the audience. There was never a shortage of men between 30 and 45 hooting and high fiving and saying “fu-k yeah!” during the 2+ hours of the production. And I realized that I love 80s music as well, which raised an important question for me: Am I a douchebag? Or is it just a sad coincidence that I enjoy the same music as these former coke abusing, date raping, collar popping, former “cool kids?” having come to the conclusion that I am more an as-hole than a douchebag I can say safely that our similarities end with 80s music.
Overall a good show, but a questionable audience.