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Weinergate

Of Bill Clinton, Eliot Spitzer and Anthony Weiner I think only one of these Democrat’s actions were shameful for their office.  All three acted inappropriately and have earned ire from their spouses.  But at least Clinton and Spitzer acted like adults.  Bad adults, but adults nonetheless.   We live in an increasingly juvenile state of adulthood (guilty as charged here), but at least if our politicians are going to continue to disappoint us, it would be nice if they did it in an adult fashion.  Have sex with  groupie-colleagues (Clinton), have sex with high priced escorts (Spitzer), but tweeting pictures?  Our politicians cannot respect the office they have been given, but they can at least respect our sense of what kind of lewd behavior they should engage in.

I would vote for Eliot Spitzer today, but I am not sure I would vote for Weiner.  Obviously Weiner’s conduct was far less egregious than Spitzer’s, but it was also old school.  A busy man like Spitzer was being efficient and trying to use discretion (when these guys use escorts they are paying less for the quality of the women, although usually high quality, and more for the guarantee of discretion) to protect his family’s sensibilities, even if he was sacrificing their integrity.  On the other hand Anthony Weiner is a Congressman, but had half a dozen Twitter relationships? That is brazen and time consuming.  Have you no sense of decency?  American values are no longer about being a good person. It’s “be a piece of sh*t in private.”  Weiner violated that sacred trust we as a nation hold so dearly.

America seems destined to be some sort of mentally challenged version of Europe when it comes to sex.  We are becoming more and more immune to sexual impropriety, which we think demonstrates some sort of intellectual sophistication, but at the same time becoming more and more distasteful and lewd in the conduct we expose ourselves too.  We seem to accept that celebrities and people of power, almost always men, will engage in tawdry behavior.  But if we are headed down that road I think we should have some guidelines.  If you are a person of fame or power then it should be as Uncle Ben said in Spider Man, “with great access to pussy comes great responsibility.”  For the extra vagina that will come your way you should be able to comfortably offset that by limiting the public access of your indiscretions.  And Weiner violated this as badly as one could – via Twitter, the 21st Century’s Town Cryer.

And I know this is a lame point, but if your name is Weiner you really should be on guard to always guard your penis privacy.  For example, if my name was John Rape I would get written consent every time I had sex with a woman. Just to be safe.  Even if it was pronounced RaPAY.

So I am not morally outraged by Weiner’s conduct in any way.  It just feels sort of insulting.  A private citizen can be as stupid as they want on social media, but a politician should have the decency to mess around with skanks in private.  That is the America I believe in.

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Bye Bye Birmingham

Last night was the final show in Birmingham.  I was very happy with my set and was hopeful that I would sell the five CDs I would need to cover overnight shipping of the CDs to Birmingham because I left them at home, unaware that Stardome customers tend to buy merchandise after shows.  However, the nation’s second worst economy after Detroit and not headlining were two factors working against me.  I sold zero so had a net loss of $50 on the CDs.  Must remember my CDs next time so my comedy career does not become a Ponzi scheme where I am the only victim.

For a good show you want everyone to laugh and have a good time – like a 2008 Obama rally.  However, I am thinking that to sell merchandise it helps to be be more 1996 Clinton or 2004 George Bush – anger some people so that the people who really like you in the crowd will rally to you even stronger, in the form of CD/DVD purchases in my case.

I will miss you Birmingham, but we will always have di-k in the ass jokes.
I will miss you Birmingham, but we will always have di-k in the ass jokes.

Overall I had a really good time in Alabama.  Thanks to everyone at the Stardome, Matt Mitchell, Tim Pulnik, Reno Collier and the comedy fans of Birmingham.  Also thanks to the people on the highway who did not hit me with their cars as I sprinted across the highway a few times a day to do kill time at Chipotle and the Galleria. 

Next stops – Denver, Boston and San Francisco.

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Another Michael Jackson Is Impossible

Muhammad Ali, Barack Obama, The Pope, Michael Jordan, Bill Clinton.  This is the group of people’s whose deaths could rival or exceed Michael Jackson’s in terms of worldwide newsworthiness and cultural impact (and Jordan is very iffy).  That is really it in my opinion.  (And it happened a few hours after I was complaining that Farrah Fawcett’s death, though sad for her family and friends of course, did not warrant huge media attention.  Jackson’s did and does. )  And notice there are no music people on the list.  Sorry Justin Timberlake, Usher, Ne-Yo and any other people who they are already trying to figure out who could take the mantle.  That sounds like a bad joke.

There is no “next” Michael Jackson.  There are a few reasons for this:

The Cultural Gap

Michael Jackson had an incredible talent and an abusive parent willing to beat it out of him (I had parents willing to do the latter, but quickly persuaded them against hitting me a lot with my “I don’t have much talent” defense).   Acrucible this toxic, but which generates such prodigious, one-of-a-kind genius could never occur in today’s over-exposed culture, where every other as-hole can actually become a star.  He’d either be scooped up by a reality show or taken away from his parents (unlikely if he’s famous since we revel in the exploitation of children every day on shows like Jon and Kate plus 8).  So there’s no sense talking about a “next” MJ because it is not really possible given our cultural landscape of low standards and quick fix need for new celebs.

The Innovation Gap

There is nobody with his talent for innovation in the music business.  His closest musical counterpart is Madonna and she’s not really close.  Today there is more imitation than anything else.  Not to draw a comparison, but that is one of the reasons Adam Lambert was so good on American Idol – he seemed to be somewhat original, but still he lived in the shadow of men like Steven Tyler and Freddie Mercury.  The best analogy I can come up with is sports related. The shadow Michael Jordan cast on basketball is so great that players like Kobe and LeBron are trying to be free of it today and cast their own legacy.  Now imagine Michael Jordan were put in a time machine and played in the 1960s instead of the 1980s and 90s.  Now imagine how much more incredible and awe-inspiring he would have been if he was in that era.  That is what Michael Jackson did for music.  And his breaking of major racial barriers goes without saying.

The Class Gap

As ironic as it may sound Michael Jackson is lucky to have lived until 50 with the media pressure and voyeuristic celebrity hunting that now goes on.  He was fortunate enough to be a fully grown man by the time people were really going psycho for him.  Nowadays with this exponentially growing blood lust we have for celebrities wouldn’t he be more likely to suffer a fate like Britney Spears?  Breaking down right before or after Thriller, thus denying the public of several years of quality music afterwards?  I even like You Rock My World, which he released 19 years after Thriller.

The child molestation charges and odd behavior of Michael Jackson will forever be linked to his legacy.  I have a friend who believes child molesters should be castrated.  I am one of those people that hopes that Michael was just strange and never did anything sexual to the children, but that feels unlikely.  But I look at a guy who was abused by his father, and lived a public life for 40 years that no one besides Obama over the last 2 years can even relate to I think.  I feel bad for him.  People feel bad for victims of abuse when it occurs, but when they turn into monsters themselves, no one cares anymore.  This is not a defense for his actions, if he did abuse children, but just maybe a moment of compassion is warranted, even if you do find him despicable.  When you look at pictures of this cute talented kid and then at the recluse alien he became you have to know this was a deeply troubled person not in full control of what he became – his family exploited him and society smothered him.

So I am happy to own a bunch of Michael Jackson records and in a show of class I only told one Michael Jackson joke (it was the entertainment elephant in the room) last night (at one of the most difficult shows of my career – nothing compared to the massacre at Medgar Evers College a few years ago, but bad):

With Ray Charles, James Brown and Michael Jackson dead I’d be scared sh-tless if I was Stevie Wonder.  If diabetes doesn’t get his chubby ass, then apparently the ghost from Final Destination will.

I will write some funnier stuff on Sunday or Monday about my Florida trip (let’s hope the worst is behind me), but I wanted to write something about the biggest entertainer in the world.   And at least “kids these days” can see that there was something just a tad bigger than The Jonas Brothers and Lady Gaga.  After all, even I had a Michael Jackson figure – I believe it was the Billie Jean one (modeled on the 1983 Motown Special).  Music didn’t just lose a giant.  It lost THE giant.

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Why Diversity Is Still Important

When Barack Obama announced his candidacy for President it felt like a prescription for the foreign policy of the Bush administration.  Although I was leaning towards voting for John Edwards I thought then-nominee Obama provided the best counter to terrorists and extremists around the world: a man with an appearance, a name and a family history that could immediately alter perceptions about America under the Bush regime.  And the news reports of his Cairo speech yesterday seem to be proving this correct.   I think what more and more people have to recognize is that there is an incredibly high value to Obama’s appearance and racial background, no matter how many conservative politicians and jurists want to move quickly (and conveniently) to a race-blind society.   Since the Warren Court, the conservative wing of the Supreme Court and many pockets of the country have been in an all out sprint to become race neutral (because once you have a 400+ year head start, there is really no threat of actual equality for the injured party without some substantial assistance).  Hopefully that trend will slow or stop.

And although the 43rd presidnet provides the greatest contrast to the 44th, this is not merely a Bush vs. Obama issue.  If Bill Clinton gave a speech equivalent to that of Obama’s, it could not have the same effect because he would still be white, which would prevent the instinctive affinity and pride people of color around the world feel towards Obama.  However, because of Obama, when we have our next white president (I am pretty sure in Presidential politics “once we go black, we’ll probably go white again at some point” is the axiom) America will be looked at differently because we will be a country where people of different races succeed to the highest level in reality and not just in a series of truisms.  But make no mistake, our bombs and guns cannot have the same long term effect in changing the hearts and minds of the Muslim world (and marginalizing its radical and violent subset) that having a leader more representative of the world does.  And this is not just an international effect – this is an important lesson for every community in America.

At the Eagle Academy, a school of predominantly inner city African-American and Latino males, in the South Bronx, where I am a mentor, they began the mentoring program with the idea that young men will become what they see.  So the school made an intense effort to draw mentors from various professional communities.   Perhaps the young men will see drug dealers and gang members during their day, but they will also see lawyers and doctors during their day.  And yes, most of the mentors are men of color as well, because that emphasizes the most important lesson, which is not that other people (i.e. white) can have success via traditional paths (college, grad school, etc.) , but that they can have that same success too. 

Judge Sonia Sotomayor has come under fire for some of her comments indicating that her background will help her appreciate different viewpoints, especially those of women and people of color.  People are less charged up over her female point of view because sexism has never gained the stigma that racism has (even on the Supreme Court gender discrimination has never attained the “strict scrutiny” standard that racial discrimination cases have attained, despite the efforts of Justice Ginsburg.).  People do not mind as much when a “women’s perspective” is cited because it does not evoke the horrible sensations of guilt and horror that the legacy of race relations in this country does.   But different perspectives, especially racial, are important.   Do I agree with Judge Sotomayor’s opinion on the firefighter tests in New Haven, CT?  No – but do I think her perspective as a Latina is important in deciding legal issues concerning race? Absolutely.  As she put it in 1998: “We are a nation that takes pride in our ethnic diversity, recognizing its importance in shaping our society and in adding richness to its existence.  Yet we simultaneously insist that we can and must function and live in a race-and color-blind way that ignores those very differences that in other contexts we laud.”  Appreciating and understanding our differences can only come from inclusion and interaction.

The most tragic example of this is the fatal shooting of Officer Omar Edwards, an African-American police officer in Brooklyn by a fellow officer, Andrew Dunton, who is white.  Many people think that this tragedy could have been averted by more training techniques, but training alone cannot undo the subtle prejudices that lead to these rare, but not rare enough, incidents. 

And this is not to say that this incident could have been avoided if Officer Dunton had not been white.  But perhaps if in a couple of decades a white officer’s first instinct (the way it may have been for an African-American officer because of his life experiences) will be to think, maybe that black guy is a cop I’ll hold off another second or two until I am certain one way or the other.  And many officers would rightly say those two seconds could cost a police officer his life.  And right now, they may be right.  But perhaps as we continue to evolve in our race relations other factors will become more salient beyond race in identifying a police officer form a perpetrator. 

From all the newspaper articles I’ve read on it, Officer Dunton is not some cliche, bigoted cop, which makes the situation all the more dire.  The overt and malicious racist is easy to spot and punish or avoid, but subtle and somewhat benign prejudices, if there are such things, are more dangerous because they are harder to guard against, both for the victim and the perpetrator.  The only way things like this will disappear is for major cultural changes to take effect.  And those changes will take decades to occur.  But the key to that change is interaction and diversity (the fact that Latino, African-American and Asian members the NYPD now comprise a majority bodes well I think).