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A Hater’s Valentine to The Real Husbands of Hollywood

Today is Valentine’s Day and I am currently feeling very amorous feelings.  Mainly because the Wednesday crowd at Helium bought over $100 of CDs and “Live Angry” wrist bands last night.  So headed into a big weekend at Helium positive vibes are flowing from my usually cynical and negative pen.  If you need to hear me trash Valentine’s Day then feel free to check out this week’s Righteous Prick Podcast on iTunes or Podomatic.  But since I spend so much time trashing so much of the comedy business (rightfully and righteously so) I thought why not take a break to praise something (besides myself) in comedy that took me completely by surprise: The Real Husbands of Hollywood.

The show, on BET (not Bearded Entertainment Television – that is Comedy Central) stars Kevin Hart, the super successful comedian from Philadelphia who is having a monster last couple of years.  Full disclaimer, I don’t really enjoy Hart’s comedy.  I think it is heavy on friendly persona and tag lines and short on everything else (at 5’2″, dark, rich and friendly Kevin Hart will never be mistaken for me).  But who gives a sh*t – the man is making money and is at least not using instruments or puppets to make it.  Co-starring on the show are the loud comedian JB Smoove, actor Duane Martin, singer Robin Thicke, actor Boris Kodjoe and Mr. Mariah Carey, Nick Cannon.

Everyone on the show except Martin would give me reason to be annoyed or a hater.  JB Smoove generally annoys me with his loudness and buffoon-like black man portrayal on “white” shows like Curb Your Enthusiasm; Nick Cannon headlines comedy clubs (please correct me if he is a “real” comedian and I will stand corrected); Kodjoe is married to Nicole Parker who made me happy in Boogie Nights; and Robin Thicke is married to Paula Patton who almost made Tom Cruise’s brilliant sprinting in Mission Impossible 4 an afterthought.

If Vegas were making odds on me hating the show based on all that information they would be 1:100 odds.  Well, in one of the biggest upsets in entertainment history I enjoy the show.

The show is smart – a detail-oriented parody of the reality shows of VH1 and Bravo that plays with the conventions of the “genre” if we can call the Ebola virus of television programming a genre.  Confessionals get overheard by other characters, the editing and music are just slightly exaggerated versions of the genre’s standards and the characters even borrow a little bit of Modern Family/The Office/Parks and Recreation looks to the camera (but only sparingly since people are starting to get a little bored of that trend).

But what makes the show extra funny, to me at least, is that many of the guys poke fun at themselves in ways that people like me would hit them with.  Hart furthers his brand as likable by making himself the butt of most jokes.  He is no Jim Carrey when it comes to physical comedy, but he is still pretty damn good at it.  JB Smoove is toned down (slighlty) and all but defended himself on the show during a fight by claiming that he is on all sorts of white shows and that white people love his sh*t.  And Cannon, who is perceived as Mr. Carey, goes out of his way to be a power player and to be the foil to Hart.  Martin was mocked for never being able to be cast in a movie that did not involve basketball and Kodjoe was mocked as an unemployed pretty-boy.  This may seem like a simple formula – laugh at self-deprecating celebrities, but it is executed really well.  It feels like a silly guilty pleasure, which it is, but it is also very smartly crafted.

What is really shocking about this show to me though, is that it is not on Comedy Central.  Kevin Hart is the most successful comedian working right now and JB Smoove hosted Russel Simmons comedy show a few years ago on the network.  Was the show just pitched to BET or did Comedy Central reject it?  Or low ball Kevin Hart?  Just seems weird that a funny show, with popular comics would not make it onto the network.  But I guess black guys in their 30s and 40s do not really fit into any demographic that Comedy Central is trying to appeal to.  So do yourself a favor when you are done cutting yourself during an episode of Kroll Show (chuckled at the first episode, have not been able to finish an episode since) and check out Real Husbands of Hollywood On Demand.

Back to hating next week.

Blog

Kobe Beef

Last night I watched the Boston Celtics get out-hustled and out-played by the Los Angeles Lakers.  As if it wasn’t enough to see Kobe Bryant have a solid game I was forced to swallow my own vomit several times as I watched Sasha Vujacic and Jordan Farmar make quality contributions.  Rumor has it in the off-season they will be filming a buddy cop flick called Euro Trash and Shrek Ears.  But as much as Kobe has played the villain in my NBA story for the last 4 years, last night it got personal.  Because of the Laker victory, they will now play Game 7 on Thursday, my first night in Atlanta at The Punchline.

The Punchline is a big club and a chance for me to atone with Southern audiences for a minor debacle in Birmingham last Summer.

Backstory – Last Summer I featured at The Stardome, a huge club owned by some nice people.  6 of the seven shows went somewhere in the B- to B+ range, but one show, the Saturday show led to only the second time I have been boo’d on stage (the other time being Medgar Evers College in Brooklyn – a disgrace to higher education and the Civil Rights’ Leader’s memory, whose student attendees thought it was “boo every comedian that dares step on stage – like Amateur Night at The Apollo, without the credit of The Apollo. To put it in television analogies – if my comedy career was the show Homicide – Medgar Evers College would be Adeena Watson).  I said nothing offensive at The Stardome – I was just neither BET nor rednecky enough for the racially diverse, intellectual bottom feeders that occupied a few of the tables at the club that night.

So going to Atlanta was to be a bit of redemption for me and I actually booked the gig on the strength of my Always Be Funny/Glengary Glen Ross spoof video, which also restored my faith that YouTube was not entirely useless for my career.

But then the Lakers won because they seemed to finally discover that Rajon Rondo has the jumpshot of Shaquille O’Neal.  So that means Thursday night’s show will be empty of just about all basketball fans.  Now my routine has very fewbasketball references in it, but there is a correlation between people who are aware of basketball and people who enjoy my comedy.  Those people will not be there Thursday because Kobe & Co. won.  So who is going to be there Thursday night?  Southern comedy fans who do not like basketball.  Hmmmmmm, I just hope after the show I don’t have to tell anyone, “In New York they call me Missssster Cauvin!”

But the obvious point is that Kobe Bryant is to blame.  (I just wish LeBron James was at Game 6 and walked up to Kobe a la Maximus to Commodus in Gladiator and said, “The Time for honoring yourself will soon be at an end.” Because Kobe should know that when the LeBron James era will begin the moment LeBron gets a teammate(s) that is/are not terrible or fu*king his Mom…

Sidebar – For those of you that do not know – LeBron James mother is rumored (strong rumors) to have slept with LeBron’s bipolar, shotgun-carrying teammate Delonte West.  However, not a word has been uttered on this by ESPN , which is rather frightening.  My theory is that ESPN has marching orders from Nike not to say another word (what would ESPN be without Nike athletes and Nike advertising dollars?).  The story was discussed all over the Internet and on The Huffington Post, but not a peep from the premier sports news network in the world about one of the 10 most famous athletes on the planet?  Just makes you think if people including “The People’s Sports Reporter” Bill Simmons a/k/a The Sports Guy can be silenced (he gave a token – “absolutely false” comment on the story even though when I was in Cleveland everyone seemed to believe the story) by corporate titans (my friend Mike told me this has all the makings of a Michael Mann sports themed sequel to The Insider), what chance is there that news isn’t corrupted all the time by even bigger corporations (obviously it is).  And if you think this has nothing to do with sports – LeBron James disappeared against the Celtics after the rumors started flying, so unlike Tiger Woods’ Blasian fallace, LeBron’s story actually has sports-related salaciousness.

Back to Kobe- Is there anything more absurd than Kobe’s wife and future stripper daughters (when your Mom is a hot gold digger and your Dad is a wealthy rapist aren’t your employment prospects limited psychologically?) standing in the tunnel at halftime to greet him with adoration before he goes into the locker room?  “Look Nike and McDonald’s I am done with the butt rape and the cheating because here is my family right here.  But at the same time I am so driven to win that I take time out of halftime to greet my family?”  Anyone else’s wives or girlfriends meeting them in the tunnel?  Did Michael Jordan have Juanita waiting at halftime? No – he was too busy thinking about winning and killing the other team.  Now he might have had sex with his opponent’s wife in the tunnel as a competitive advantage, but he would never waste time to kiss his own wife mid-game.

So now for this horsesh*t I have to see potential fans not show up tot he first show in Atlanta.  It looks like me and the Celtics are going to have to put in a strong effort Thursday to make sure Kobe does not win.  Odds are the Celtics will have a tougher time than me.