Over the last two days the news has been overwhelmingly bad, but the perspective seems to be a bit skewed.

A few days after the Spitzer-Swallows scandal, it turns out the BBG (Blind Black Governor) also was having an affair, but so was his wife. This is what marriage has come to? We cut some slack because they were both fu-king around? That makes me think, perhaps blindness is much more plausible than sex addiction. “Really honey, I did not know she was white. She just looked fuzzy and very enthusiastic.”

Then there’s the news about Jim McGreevy. Apparently the GAG (Gay American Governor, pun intended) was jealous of the attention given to Spitzer so his former driver decided to announce that he had threesomes with the governor and his wife. If this is true, then I guess Mrs. McGreevy was given fair notice once she saw her husband get drilled and should not really get any sympathy, but if it’s not true I feel terrible for Mrs. McGreevy. Especially because they would start as threeway dates at T.G.I. Fridays. That may be the worst part of the story.

Then Heather Mills is crying to the media that she only got $48 million dollars of Paul McCartney’s money. First of all, for a chick with one leg she is getting off pretty nicely. Secondly, what exactly did you do for this money? You are not a Beatle. You are a Beatle groupie who found a Beatle at the right time, when he looked like a cross of an old British woman and an owl. So be happy with your $48 million.

So this may seem like bad news for marriage in America (contrary to Republicans, only 1 of these three marriages was brought down by homosexuality), but to make it worse, if you are single, the NYC singles scene just took a huge hit with the fire sale of Bear Stearns. Everybody is sorry for these Masters of the Universe, but what about the plunge in the suspenders, hair gel, escort and cocaine services that also took a huge hit. No one is crying for these people.