Firemen fighting firemen instead of fires.

For starters I got comped a dessert at a BBQ restaurant on Friday. It was good because I could not eat meat on Friday (Lent) and I needed some extra calories on top of my garden salad. Why did I get comped? Because the manager on duty recognized me from comedy and wanted to hook me up. So let March 16th go down as the date I got my first comedy/celebrity perk. Thanks Virgil’s.

So on Saturday I geared up for an afternoon/evening of hoops and drinking. I first watched hoops at a fondue restaurant because that was the only place my friends could find that wasn’t sexual assault room only (beyond standing room and dry humping room only). I then went to a bar in the west 40s to meet my girlfriend who had been drinking with friends since noon (I met her with friends around 8 pm).

Now St. Patrick’s Day is one of those holidays that used to have a component dedicated to Irish history. Now its primary function seems to be for the FDNY to starts fights with each other and slobber on women.

My highlights began with seeing two firefighters start a fight and then watching people break it up and get into a fight over breaking it up and which point two more people began scrapping. NY’s Most Pugnacious.

Furthermore, two sets of women asked me to take photos with them. I thought maybe they had heard of my comedy as well, but it turned out that they were drunk and 6’7″ is the official height of circus freak when you’re drunk on St. Patty’s Day.

Then there’s the woman part. Meeting your girlfriend at a Saint Patrick’s Day party if she gets there first is sort of like going to meet your girlfriend at the strip club she dances at while still on the pole. The way these firemen and associates looked at me you’d think I was either a five alarm blaze or a college level textbook. They looked angry and confused. They tried the excuses on her like, “If your boyfriend cared about you he would be here with you.” Fortunately I am not dating an insecure college freshman so I guess the FDNY will have to work on their game for next year.