If it bleeds, we can elect it.

In 1987 a movie named Predator came out. A year later the same director would go on to make the greatest action film of all time: Die Hard. It was an incredibly violent movie that featured several memorable, atrocious one-liners like: “you ah wan agly mathafacka” and my favorite, “stick around” after a knife is thrown through a man’s back.

But 21 years later, the movie has a new distinction – the most politically powerful film of all time. It featured two governors: Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jesse Ventura and now there is a remote chance that it could add a third actor to that list: Sonny Landham, who is running for the Senate in Kentucky.

If you do not remember Sonny Landham’s character, here is a refresher: “BILLEEEEEEE, GET TO DA CHAPPA!!!!!!” (translation: Billy, get to the chopper). Sonny Landham played Billy, the big, silent Native American/Mexican/some guy who the white man had trampled who decided to fight the Predator with a large steak knife at the end of the film. Well, using that same great decision making, Mr. Landham has decided to run for one of the Kentucky seats in the U.S. Senate under the banner of the Libertarian party.

Fun facts bout Sonny:

– Needed a bodyguard during the filming of Predator (or another film, I cannot remember) to ensure that HE did not harm anyone (backers of the film required it for insurance reasons and the nsavory repuation of Sonny).

– Starred in an adult film called Big Abner.

– Has called global warming the biggest fraud ever perpetrated on the American people

– His campaign slogan is “If you give me your vote, I will fight every day in Washington to take away your burdens.” He probably means throwing a haymaker every time Joe Biden goes off on one of his tangents.

I hope Kentucky makes the right decision this election:

Elect Big Abner in 2008 – punishing evildoers, innocent bystanders and vaginas since the 1980s.