Chinese Democracy and Diamond Maker: the 2 most anticipated records of the year. To me.

So now that it is Winter I am into my yearly tradition of living at movie theaters. This week I saw Quantum of Solace, (so-so), JCVD (humorous and not bad), and Slumdog Millionaire (very good).

My favorite moments were during Slumdog Millionaire, but not because of the film. It was the guy who decided to sit right next to me in an empty row of seats. I responded with lots of passive aggressive huffs and puffs because like 99% of the population I am too big a pu-sy to say, “ARE YOU FU-KING KIDDING ME? Stop sitting next to me you socially awkward fu-k!” Second thing was the couple behind me was arguing. Here is how that went:

Annoying Woman: I can’t believe you said that. You said I was girl next door hot, but not unattainable hot.

Dumb Guy: So, that’s nice.

AW: No, you really know hoto make me feel good. You never say anything nice to me. That’s great.

DG: Well I just took you out for a nice dinner.

AW: Seriously, that is nothing. That is to be expected.

She then offered 2 hours on non stop NY liberal condescension for all the poor Indian children on screen with a barrage of very vocal “awwwws” and “they’re such survivors”. Had she not been with her boyfriend I would have told her to shut the fu-k up, but I did not want her boyfriend to feel obligated to step in for her because getting beat up for a shit-y woman would be really sad.

Next up is the movie Bolt – the animated movie about a dog who thinks he is a superhero. If any adults wonder why there is a 29 year old 6’7″ dude watching it I will just mumble – I thought this was about the Jamaican sprinter – weird!

And I just got my copy of Chinese Democracy – the album 17 years in the making by Axl Rose and a bunch of people posing as Guns N Roses. I have informed Axl Rose that on December 17th the album 29 years in the making, Diamond Maker is coming out. He told me to fu-k off and that his next album would come out in 2038 to trump mine.