As well as the dual title of New York’s most litigious comic

Last night I was named NY’s funniest lawyer by Broadway Comedy Club. The contest was open to all legal professionals and law students so I am sure the panel of 4 judges and 40 audience members breathed a big sigh of relief that an actual lawyer won the contest so they would not have to go with the longer or more cumbersome, “NY’s funniest legal professional.”

Before the show I had an uncomfortable exchange with a cougar, technically a cougar that was a recovering addict (according to her routine). In other words in the animal kingdom she would like Scar from The Lion King, but a cougar. Here was the exchange:

Cougar: Are you on this show?

Me: Maybe

Cougar: Why do you not have enough people (it was a bringer)?

Me: No, I have enough people.

Cougar: Then what’s the maybe?

Me: Sarcasm – (feeling awkward) Are you on the show

Cougar: I’m headlining.

Me: Nice.

Cougar: that’s what I thought when I saw you – nice (awkward undressing of 6’7″ lawyer-comic with cougar eyes).

And then I ran away because as the old saying goes, confidence is sexy… on sexy people.

I won the contest with a combo of Obama jokes, white collar diversity and my experience at the DA’s office. It was a good set, though when second place (who did have some good jokes) subsequently did a 2 minute bit on naming hurricanes (the “men and women are different” hack joke of 2007-2008) and blew the light by 2 1/2 minutes, it made it a lot easier.

So what did I win you ask? A prize bag with two dvds – George Carlin’s greatest hits and… Platoon (a comedy classic), a Macy’s gift certificate for an unknown amount, a bottle of champagne, a doll of Chef, the South Park character and ten free tickets to Broadway Comedy Club. To show you that this contest was not necessarily for aspiring or serious comedians, second place got a paid spot on a show. So once again, despite some success I still fail to get paid work by a NY comedy club.