Ok, maybe we should think of seceding.

I read some disturbing headlines today. The U.S. economy is struggling, but bankers and their related industries of cocaine trafficking and escort services (although in New York City I believe it’s called dating) seem to have bounced back a little bit with government assistance (note – assistance to greedy white people = bail out, assistance to poor minorities = lazy good for nothings who want society to help them out).

Then I saw that a bomb went off in Pakistan killing at least 40 people, one of the worst acts of terrorism in the country’s history. But like the Tampa Bay Devil Rays of middle east terror-ridden countries I think this is the year that Pakistan makes leaps over several other countries. Another reason I want Obama to be president: I want someone who will protect the country and have moral authority that the world has to respect. I feel like McCain and Palin telling the country and the world anything involving terrorism would be like hearing OJ Simpson say he found the real killer of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman. And note to McCain, Washington does not have an “r” so please stop calling it Warshington.

But then as I sit looking at the news articles I see that NASCAR has instituted a drug policy so that pit crews and drivers are not taking performance enhancing substances. What the fu-k is a performance enhancing drug in car racing?

“Instead of using gasoline Marty McFly’s team, led by pit chief Doc Brown, was seen pouring refuse into the gas tank of the car. He appeared to only be going 88 mph, but then suddenly appeared at the finish line.”

And banning these substances for drivers and pit crews? Are they afraid some guy will be so jacked he’ll put his pedal through the floor of the car and look like Fred Flintstone in a flame retardant suit? And God forbid the pit crews are on performance enhancing substances. These guys are changing tires and squeegeeing the windows, right? When was the last time you saw a gas station with a health club membership program so their pump attendees could keep up with the rigorous physical demands of the job?

But NASCAR dudes and hockey moms and are going to help decide who leads our country and possibly run it. Terrorists may hate us for our freedoms, but that may only be because they are not familiar with NASCAR and hockey moms yet.