Will Shortz does my dirty work.

When I lived at home I had daily access to the NY Times and the New York Daily News, the two papers my Mom wakes up at 4 AM to read cover to cover before leaving for work. I took it for granted. I would flip through it while having breakfast. My girlfriend, with whom I now live, had a subscription to the New York Post, which is one third of the girlie Holy Trinity of news sources (Dateline and US Weekly are the other two components).

So my brother, a journalist, decided that to save me from the clutches of the New York Post he would get me a housewarming gift in the form of a New York Times subscription. I must say that I am happy for many reasons:

1) I know what is going on in the world this week. For example in one article a few days ago it said that based on poll numbers, Americans are increasingly of the belief that going into Iraq was the right decision. Amazing. In a related poll, 55% of Americans decided that the 45% who believe that are fuc-ing idiots.

2) It has not been stolen once. In Washington DC my Washington Post would get stolen at least once a week. If anyone knows someone in Cleveland Park who has confessed to newspaper theft I want him extradited to New York and held as an enemy combatant.

3) I can give my girlfriend the NY Times crossword puzzle each day, which is the only thing a man can give a woman that will be as satisfying and frustrating and confusing as the woman herself. I am especially looking forward to Friday’s crossword.

4) My first Sunday Times gets delivered on Sunday. I am hoping to be awake to see the forklift drop it off. I hear this Sunday they are adding a new 32 pages section on toe nail clippings, the last remaining reference topic not covered by the Encyclopedia Britannica that is the Sunday Times.