As I sit here Sunday evening seeing all hopes for winning my March Madness pools go poof with Marquette’s loss (I feel bad for that guy Hayward) I am forced to reflect on all that I have seen during this weekend of hoops overdosing.

Tattoos

What the fu-k is with all the tattoos?  These college kids are covered in tattoos. Why?  I have often flirted with the idea of a tattoo, but then realizing that I was being rash and stupid re-considered since I would not be able to be buried in a Jewish cemetery if I had one.  But seriously, why are these 19 and 20 year olds covered with tattoos?  I used to think that only bikers and lesbians had the right combination of toughness and self-loathing to mutilate their bodies, but finding a basketball player without a tattoo now is like trying to find a Tyler Perry movie without black people.  I am always amazed by so many people of my generation who will tell me that people who get married in their early 20s are too young (or as my more cynical, all-knowing city friends say, “stupid”) to know that they can deal with that commitment, but see nothing wrong with an 18 year old, obviously at the most impulsive stage of life,  covering everything but his scrotum in ink.  I know it’s not the same thing, but it sure is ironic.

Obama

Stop going on television.  I like you, but I am really seeing you too much on television.  Since you are the first celebrity president you should take a lesson from celebrities and not risk overexposure.  When you are in the spotlight too much you will make a mistake, like insulting Special Olympians or blaming wars on Jews.

Fast and Furious

Only Hollywood could take 4 things that don’t work (Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Michelle Rodriguez and Jordana Brewster) and mash them up and have a hit on their hands.  There is no doubt this movie will make a jillion dollars because people are stupid.  Even I won’t see Fast and Furious, which I assume is a description of how audience members with fully functioning brains will leave the theater.  Could any other industry get away with this?  If GM, Ford and Chrysler got together to make a car would it become a big seller or just be considered a really big piece of sh*t?

Commercials

The best commercial I saw all weekend (repeatedly) was the Jumpman commercial featuring the disgruntled father remembering his daughter’s birthday (but really remembering Texas’ loss to Syracuse in 2003).  This is the best acting I have ever seen in a commercial.  Strange compliment, but he is both creepy and funny with how dismissive he is of his daughter’s birthday.

Basketball

Oh yeah – there was hoops going on as well.  Fu-k you Florida State BIG TIME.  Smaller fu-k yous to Wake Forest and Marquette.  Time for Eastbound and Down to cheer me up, but first 60 Minutes – I wonder who is on…

OBAMAAAAAAAAAAAAA