Best birth control not named abstinence

So it was a fun-filled weekend in Washington D.C. hanging out with my two nephews. We watched Sesame Street, which apparently features androids because some of the same adults from the show when I was a kid still look the same age over 20 years later. Then we went to the park. While at the park my sister-in-law and I noticed a man (white male alone with glasses and a slight paunch) videotaping the playground with a smile on his face. What is the appropriate action to take with this? He did not appear to have a child at the park and it was especially weird when he asked eight year old girls to lift up their shirts because he was making a video called “Third grad girls gone wild.” I am sure it as just harmless fun.

As a break I went to see Forgetting Sarah Marshall, which was the story of a tall man pursuing a career in entertainment who gets dumped by his adorable and petite blonde girlfriend. Very funny, but not at all relatable.

Then I watched the Utah Jazz game out with my friend Ross, while simultaneously trying to avoid contact with a bunch of army guys. The drunkest guy had a huge welt under his eye so obviously someone had already had enough of his dumb ass. They could have made this guy a poster child for the benefits of stop loss – “Support our stop loss program, so he can fight over there instead of fighting you here.”

But Sunday was the big day – the 1st birthday party of my nephew. He did not have a clue what was going on. My older nephew was excited because I think he thought the party was for him. As I watched the 10 parents and 10 or so children I saw a terrifying future of asking kids questions like, “What do we say when someone does that?” or “Is that how we ask for something?” or “Do you have to go potty?” or “How do we ask for pizza?” or “How do we ask for more juice?” If organizations like the Catholic Church want to promote child rearing and large families they should put all their lobbying energy into stopping children’s birthday parties. But not one peep from Pope Benedict on this. One or two little kids seem tough, but manageable. Ten or eleven kids together seems like cake smeared anarchy.