I had an interesting Saturday. It started out by going to the high school near my day job (top secret) to receive a mentor of the year award. Several of my teammates and opponents from my work basketball league protested my receiving the award because of my shameful conduct (4 technical fouls in an 8 game season – none for dunking). However, just like Ty Cobb’s racism and OJ’s murdering, the mentor award committee said that my conduct off of the mentoring field are not factors in determining who is eligible for the award.

But seriously I was one of 4 mentors of the year and it was a very nice honor. However, they told us to dress casually so because the weatherman said it would be 90 so I went in shorts and sneakers. Every other mentor was wearing a tie and jacket so, which is commonly known as “selling J-L out.” So after the celebration (it was not just about me – the school had a bunch of other functions, including a tribute to the Tuskegee Airmen, who were at the school). After that I met some of my mentee’s family, wished him luck on his science regent’s exam and then made my next stop to serve the community: off to a detective’s house for beers and BBQ.

My detective friend lives on the edge of the Bronx, literally. His house is the last house on the last block and then there is a huge field of untamed land. I was very tempted to slaughter all the people on that land and claim it for my heirs. Instead I just had some Coors light.

Note I did not bring my mentee to this event because high school kids should not drink Coors light.

I then left the party to go home and shower for an 8 pm show. The show was located in a studio above the Laugh Factory in Times Square (for credit purposes let’s just say I performed at the Laugh Factory). It really looked like the kind of place where some sleazy guy says, “Hey hot lady. You wanna come up to my studio. I photograph models.” And when she gets up there, cautionary tales ensue.

I got up to studio 315 and a large man with dreds greeted me. I sat down and prepared my set. The room was clearly used for model shots, but had been set up in a small theater-like ambiance.

When the show finally started there was a whopping total of 12 people, including comics. It was such a small room and such a small crowd that I had to forsake my trademark height and sit so as not to intimidate anyone.

And this is why comedy is very unpredictable. I had a great time. I did a nice 11-12 minute set and had a lot of fun. Sometimes 10 enthusiastic people are as much fun as a packed club. And I worked a new bit (on dentists) into much better shape and added a potentially devastating compliment to my Owen Wilson bit as Joseph (Vince Vaughn as Joseph’s friend explaining why it is not so bad that Mary’s kid is not his). And the best part is that someone in the audience bought my CD. I am thinking of planting someone at each of my shows from now on to buy a CD – sort of like the guy who wins at 3 Card Monty to draw others in.

Then I met my friend (who shall remain nameless because he has terrible fright of any potential public career being smeared by an association with this website) at bar XII on 34th and 3rd. I have never felt older in my life. We looked around and realized that at 27 and 26, years of age we were practically the “old dudes” at a bar. Very sad indeed. I then went and had my customary drunk snack – 3 donuts from Dunkin’ Donuts. And although intoxicated, I can still think to myself – “Tomorrow I am going start getting into shape.” And on Sunday I did – I had a good lift, accentuated by the drunken dehydration, which makes you look cut up before a day later when you just look out of shape. And then I followed it up with a healthy dinner of burger and fries with my Dad for Father’s Day. Community Hero. Comedian. Family Man. All in a weekend for me.