9 days of sports and comedy happenings

The title to this entry may appear to be a slight misquote from Rocky IV. But it is not because it actually has to do with the next 9 days of my life as a comedian and a sports fan.

Wednesday I go to Denver for my first batch of road work as a feature performer. I will be doing 30 minutes per show (7 shows total) in a region of the country that I have never been to. The only things I really know about Denver and Colorado are there are mountains, Broncos, Nuggets, Evangelical Christians (Jesus Camp) and Coors beer. I will be curious to see how they like my comedy, but fortunately I will get paid regardless.

This is also a prelude to two auditions I have in NYC the following week at Comix and Gotham. Perhaps if I get passed at these clubs nothing will happen. Perhaps it will be like receiving an honorary doctorate from a University. You are neither qualified to teach, nor does anyone want you to teach, but you are a doctor. I hope that it is not the same and that passing at these clubs will mean more work opportunities, new contacts and a shot at a huge 2008. We will see. Someone very close to me, however, has consistently made me sound like the Alex Rodriguez of comedy – hilarious and confident when no one important is watching, a disaster when something is at stake. I say I am more like the Jose Canseco of comedy – a big guy with a deft writing touch.

All that said – I will keep y’all posted on my shows and my status over the next 10 days.

But that is only half of what has me stressed out right now.

The Utah Jazz/NY Yankees situation. Now the Utah Jazz is my favorite sports team of all time. Don’t ask – they just are. And they have a nice, young exciting team this year and one that bodes well for the future. However, they are in the NBA Western Conference Finals this year and that is a bit ahead of schedule. Meanwhile, the NY Yankees a dominant force in pro sports are playing like ass. A coincidence? – I don’t think so.

See I am convinced that the Jazz have stolen the Yankees mojo or karma. Yankees go on a losing streak – Jazz upset the Rockets in the first round. Joe Torre’s sister gets fired as a high school principal – Dalllas Mavericks get upset by the Warriors setting up a much better match up for the Jazz. Yankees continue to lose and talk is of Joe Torre being fired – Jazz beat the Warriors. Yankees beat the Mets using a rookie – Jazz lose game 1 to the Spurs.

So, what I am asking to have happen (because, although the Yankees and Jazz are like children to me I, like any normal parent, have a favorite and the Jazz are my favorite) is for Joe Torre to get fired – that should be enough for the Jazz to make the finals, and then maybe Mike Mussina could get injured slightly to give us the win over the Eastern Conference.

I am just wondering what would have to happen to Jerry Seinfeld and Chris Rock for me to become a comedy star. There might not be enough.