Tonight begins the 3rd Annual March Comedy Madness at Caroline’s.  If it were a one-on-one hoops tournament, based on the comedians in it, I would be as much the favorite as the Connecticut women’s team is in the upcoming women’s tournament (yes colleges are still letting women play basketball).  However, it is a comedy tournament where you get 1 minute in the 1st round, 2 in the second, 3 in the 3rd round, 4 in the 4th round, 7 in the 5th round and 10 in the finals.  The winner gets a paid weekend hosting at the club and an appearance on an on-line show.  The 63 losers get to bitch about clubs not passing them.

Two years ago I lost to the eventual champion Julian McCullough in the Sweet 16 and last year I lost to the girlfriend of the eventual winner in the Elite 8.  So this year I am hoping to make it to the Final Four and lose to the college roommate of the eventual winner.

Show is at 9:30 pm at Caroline’s tonight.  Critics are already calling me the Blake Griffin of the tournament (big, scary and willing to dive into the stands to win).  Stay out of the front row people.  Here is a scouting report that ESPN released about me for the tournament:

“J-L is smart, but can tend to let anger and bitterness cloud his humor, but when they mix well together he can defeat anyone in the tournament.  Right now his go to move is the Obama impression which is pretty much unstoppable in a close game.  He has steady play from jokes about the legal profession and his racial background, but if he wants to get deep into the Tournament he is going to have to be willing to take big shots at his past relationships.  His comparison of his engagement to 9/11 has yet to fail (10-0 record going into March Comedy Madness), but the day it misses it will probably miss big.  Overall, a funny guy who can win, but at the end of the day is still a loser who writes about himself in third- person sports analogies.”