A date that will live on in Haitian infamy

In case you’re wondering, the title is poking fun at George W. Bush who insists on adding “the” in between September and 11th, when referring to 9/11. Well, August the 11th, 1931 is a lesser known day in history, but important to me.

75 years ago in Haiti, a man named Louis Cauvin was born, the 45th of 77 children (no, just 10th of 11, I think). That man would grow up to come to the United States and marry my Mom, who would give birth to a 9 lb, 11 oz boy (9/11 again, my brother) and 6 1/2 years later give birth to a 10 lb, 7 oz boy (me, thus explaining why I am still a large human being).

But as my father ages I realize, just like WWII veterans who are passing away in droves, my father represents a critical piece of history as far as I am concerned. He is some of the only proof that I am half black. Now granted, I have a healthy summer tan going (all natural, unlike some of the microwavable chicks I work with), but come winter I need the authenticity that only he can bring.

Instead what seems to be happening is that, like a true Racial Chameleon, people perceive me to be the race of the person or persons accompanying me. When I am with my Puerto Rican lady, men on the #4 train will shake my hand in support of my Boricua-ness, as they go on tirades criticizing white people (true story). When I am with my friend Manny (6,7″ as well, from Zimbabwe, very NBA ballerish looking), I will not be able to get a cab and I will rely on my nameless 5’8″ Jewish friend to hail cab (true story). And if I am with my Arabic friends hijacking a train, people will assume I am Arabic or from Under Siege 2. All other times people will just call me white.

So I say Happy Birthday to my father and please, be around when I am telling my racial suggestive material. However, if I am ever campaigning for national office and have to travel to any red states, especially ones that still waive Confederate flags, stay home.

Oh and a special message from George Bush (Fredo), Dick Cheney (Lukabrazzi) and Joe Lieberman (Hyman Roth): IT IS NOT POSSIBLE TO DISAGREE WITH THE WAR, FOR ANY REASON, AND NOT SUPPORT TERRORISTS AT THE SAME TIME (yes GWB would use double and triple negatives). I just thought that would eliminate the need for any nuanced discussion or sharing of ideas. Whether you think it was wrong from the start, mishandled once we got there, or just now unwinnable, you must support the war. And if you think we can’t win, you should still support the War, because nothing says Patriotism to the Family like the loss of young Americans in a futile cause.

That last paragraph could be construed as a birthday present to my Dad, who is somewhere between Russell Crowe in A Beautiful Mind and Mel Gibson in Conspiracy Theory when it comes to the Bush administration. But even a broken clock is right twice a day.

Personally I think Oliver Stone did the whole thing in England to boost sales for World Trade Center.