This one does not feature a kid named Cholesterol.

Sometimes I wonder why I work in the Bronx. Is it some part of a divine plan or fate? Some bank robber was once asked, “Why do you rob banks?” He replied, “Because that’s where the money is.” Why would a comedian work or live in the Bronx? Because that’s where the humor is.

I was walking to Court today to drop off some cases when I observed a verbal dispute break out between a Latino Man (LM) approximately 46 years old and an African-American (AA) approximately 16 years old. Fortunately it was a long “DON’T WALK” sign so I got to see everything develop.

AA: I AIN’T SCARED OF YOU!!

LM: blank stare

AA: I’ve knocked out way bigger nig-as than you. I ain’t scared

J-L: Like my size or someone smaller? And technically I am only half nig-, oh never mind.

LM: Just walk away

AA: YOU ALL TALK, YOU SCARED!

J-L: Verbs please

LM: I GOT A KNIFE. WALK AWAY I’M GIVING YOU A LEASE ON LIFE

J-L: Hey – I was thinking about writing a sitcom about the leasing company my Mom works for and calling it Lease on Life. Small world.

LM began walking away and AA followed him down the block in the direction of the courthouse which seemed like a place they should both be headed. Cut out the NYPD as middleman.

Some bystanders asked me if I was a lawyer and I said yes. They informed me that just threatening with a knife was a crime (they were probably thinking of menacing, which would require a knife or something resembling it to be displayed). And since AA was not President of the United States a mere threat would probably just be a violation.

I then ran and caught up to LM and AA and told them they should go see the new play Platanos and Collared Greens, which is a new off Broadway play about romance between an African American man and a Latina woman in NYC. My guess is that it does not end with the man’s younger brother getting stabbed by the woman’s father, which is why I am writing an off Broadway play called “Knocking out way bigger nig-as and the men who stab them.”