On the 4th of July I was taught that valuable American lesson: Don’t Trust Anyone.

I was working on the 4th, and to protect the identity of my employer let’s just say I was dealing with victims of crimes. I had hung my suit jacket on a chair because it was very warm, but I only did so for about 20 minutes because then the AC was very strong. 20 minutes surrounded by other lawyers helping victims of crimes, a few crime victims and a few police officers. That was who was in the vicinity of my jacket. These are important details. For the rest of the day my jacket was in my possession. On my back.

So fast forward about 10 hours. I am on my way to see Cars by myself on 84th and Broadway because that is what someone who hates fireworks and heat (not the movie) does. So I go to see Cars and I pull out my Visa credit card to pay for the movie ticket and I discover that my Amex card is missing.

I call my Mom and ask her to call Amex to cancel my card. She does so and before the Pixar magic starts she calls me back to tell me that Amex says there have been purchases made at Saks (or something phonetically like that) around 1 pm on the 4th of July.

In usual Suspects style – let’s piece this together. My jacket was off of my back from approx 8:30-9:00 am. Purchases were made around 1 pm that same day. That means that most likely a crime victim or someone working in law enforcement decided to steal my credit card on the 4th of July.

This ranks right up there with the asshole who would steal my newspaper in Washington DC from my front doorstep. In both cases I think it is beneficial to all parties that the culprits not be caught because in both cases my response would probably be disproportionate: like dropping a nuke on Ghana for beating the US in the World Cup.

But the real problem is that the workplace is often not a safe place for stuff – shit just seems to disappear. But when you work in law enforcement it is doubly disturbing to find out that your stuff is not safe.

On a lighter note – Cars was great. Pixar does it again. The last time I had something stolen from my wallet was the same day I went to see Munich, another great movie. So if you want to enjoy a movie but hate human beings – lose your wallet and go see a midnight show of Superman.