A stimulus package the Jersey Shore can believe in.

On the drive from Washington D.C. to New York yesterday I decided to see what the weekend gross for Fast and Furious was.  I knew it would be a big hit, but apparently Hollywood was “shocked” at how big a hit it was.  For some reason there are only two groups of people that overestimate the intelligence of the American people: politicians, albeit disingenuously, with the election cycle mantra of “the American people aren’t stupid” – yes they are) and Hollywood experts who are constantly “shocked” that stupid movies are successful.

On rare occasions I will see a movie based on box office success because occasionally movies that get poor reviews, but do well (e.g. Ace Ventura) are actually enjoyable, while being understandably bashed by critics (Paul Blart was my most recent mistake along this thinking – I left with 20 minutes left in the movie because I was about to stab myself in the eye).  Almost a decade ago I rented The Fast and The Furious based on the fact that it was such a hit and thought, maybe it is an enjoyable, but crappy movie.  Unfortunately it was just crappy.  It is bad when the most talented actor in the franchise’s history is a tie between Bow Wow and Ludacris.

The lead actors in both Fast and Furiouses (with and without articles) are Paul Walker and Vin Diesel.  Starting with the lesser of two evils, Paul Walker is a handsome man.  So at least he satisfies one criteria for Hollwood success.  He has the acting chops of an extra on a porn film, but at least if women want eye candy he is an understandable choice.  However, Vin Diesel is a different story.  If Obama’s rise to power represents a victory for black people and America, then Vin Diesel’s resurrection as a Hollywood star represents a victory for the Jersey Shore and a blemish on American culture.    He belongs in the Pantheon of How The Fu-k… Hollywood stars with the likes of Pauly Shore.

The sad thing is that with the economic downturn leading more and more people to theaters there will be less immediate incentive to fund quality projects when human excrement going 140 mph can make $72.5 million.   I am sure a studio is working hard at Transporter 4 (yes there have been 3 already) and Son in Law 2.