Movies, Flannel and Sneakers

So for the past five days my girlfriend/fiancée (same person) was in San Diego on a business trip. So I had free reign to party like a rock star. It was like some sort of warped version of Risky Business as I ran through the apartment in Utah Jazz boxers listening to Justin Ttimberlake. I had a list of things to do in my lady’s absence and I accomplished them all. Here they are:

1) I wore flannel shirts. Twice.

Modern women seem to think that flannel is only for lesbians. They may be right, but I enjoy the warmth and the feel of these wonderful shirts. I may not be a lumberjack, but there should still be room in the hip and cool upper west side for a man’s man. I get manicures sometimes so I guess that is not me, but at least I am paving the way for some man’s man to do so.

2) I wore sneakers with jeans.

I never thought this look was offensive, perhaps a tad immature, but it reminds my girlfriend of Seinfeld (on the show), minus the brilliant humor. But I was able to walk 10% faster over the last five days.

3) I went crazy at the movies.

When me and LB started dating it was winter and very cold. We spent a lot of time at the movies. Too much in fact according to her and most normal people, but to me there can be no such thing as “too much movie time.” That is like saying breasts can be “too big” or a Lord of the Rings film could be “too long.” But I have been seeing many more movies by myself (aside)

Why do people keep telling me that going to the movies by myself is weird? People should not talk during the movies (my white half dominates at movies) and their attention is on the screen. This is as non-social an activity as possible, but we have accepted as something to do with other people. The only time I ever felt weird going to a movie by myself was when I was 19 and lifeguarding in Manhattan. It was raining so the pool closed and I went to see the Disney movie Hercules (awful). Many little kids stared at me like there was something wrong, but probably because I looked too old to see the Tate Donovan/James Woods voiced cartoon. However, something put me at ease. There was a 40 year old man sitting by himself. In a trenchcoat. Now that’s weird.

So anyway I managed to see 5 films over the five days. Michael Clayton (B), Rendition, (A-), Bee Movie (C+), No Country For Old Men (A) and Lions For Lambs (B+). I held off on American Gangster because wifey wants to see it, even though Parker Posey is not in it.

So now I have today off (government holiday) and in honor of Veterans and the fact that LB is at work I will wear sneakers, jeans, flannel and see the new Sidney Lumet movie. At least she knows that I am safe from other women when she is not around.