My Friends…

Life really stopped being funny for me recently. I think part of that is because I am now the owner (owned by) of a blackberry. I think after the atomic bomb and breast reduction, probably the third worst thing science has given human kind. But since my sense of humor is being dulled, probably by the not-yet-discovered cancer rays shooting out of my blackberry, I now find politics more entertaining than ever. Here is what I have not enjoyed from the election front this month:

1) John McCain and his incessant use of “My Friends.” Bill Maher made light of this a few weeks ago and it is truly gag inducing. Someone in McCain’s camp must have informed him that referring to audiences as “My Friends” would make him more folksy (think George W.) and soften his appearance as a broken GI Joe action figure storing acorns in his left squirrel-like cheek. I counted 866 “My Friends” in a ten minute speech last night.

2) Wolf Blitzer. I am not sure what it is. Perhaps it is his wolf-like appearance, or the incessant compliments he gives his own show and reporters. Either way he sucks.

3) Acting like young people matter. If Hillary wins the nomination, people are concerned about all the young people that Obama has energized losing their enthusiasm and not coming out in November. What about all the older people (especially women) that would not be inclined to vote for an inexperienced, increasingly arrogant (to some observers) candidate? The truth is – older voters are the ones you can count on in November. Young People are not. And when the Obama momentum has slowed down, as it is already, the cool factor will have faded for many young people and they will probably not be as “energized” by things like “policy” and “issues.” They might be, but to say that Obama will not lose any Democratic support if he wins is not true.

4) The debate between sexism and racism. They are both bad. But the fact remains that normal people are much more uncomfortable with racism than sexism. That is clear when at a McCain rally a few months ago someone asked “How do we beat the bitch?” Society has progressed to the point where this is still somewhat funny, but only behind closed doors in those states can someone ask, “How do we beat the nig-er?” Which is weird, because in the South you’d think they already knew how to do both.

5) McCain – I really hate the “My Friends” thing.

6) George W. Bush is getting a free ride his last year. We are about to hit 4,000 dead in the Middle East.

7) Al Gore did not run for President. But I am not quite sure if I would either if I were on the boards of Google and Apple and enjoying eating high calorie meals.

8) Anyone who runs for President is either crazy, arrogant or both (or in one recent exception – unable to actually grasp the magnitude of the job). I get up most days now stressed about my job or about other items in my life. But in the grand scheme of things not a whole lot is riding on my decisions. And I STILL wonder If I have made the right choices. Now imagine thinking to yourself, “I can and I should be running the world.” That is not a normal thought for a human being to have. I just want one reporter to ask each candidate, “What the fu-k are you thinking?”

9) My

10) Friends