Judgment Day: Sonia & Paula

Today one respected jurist will be confirmed to the Supreme Court as “one of America’s most respected judges” according to comedian Ted Alexandro, makes an exit.

Sonia Sotomayor is set to become only the third female justice, and probably first drinker of Bustello Coffee, to the Supreme Court.  But like some sad zero sum game for women, the feminist and special needs movements were dealt a severe blow with Paula Abdul’s exit from American Idol.

For the Supreme Court it means a possibly dose of empathy and wise Latina judgement, which have jointly replaced gays and blacks as the scariest things to Republicans.  For American Idol fans it means less empathy from the nicest judge and more of Kara Dioguardi speaking angrily about how much she likes someone’s “artistry.”

For Clarence Thomas it means another desperate opportunity to place pubic hairs on Coca-Cola cans (sorry Ruth Bader, you appeared to be a nice looking woman in your youth, but Justice Long Dong needs something fresh).  For Simon Cowell it means no more drugged up grabs of his chest hairs during broadcasts.

For the country Sonia Sotomayor’s replacing of David Souter may mean very little in the balance of issues.  For the country, Paula Abdul’s exit will mean very little in American Idol’s ratings.

Kept it short today – writing other stuff.  River Bar tonight if you are in NYC.  The aforementioned Ted Alexandro is headlining (Letterman, Comedy Central specials) with myself, Myq Kaplan (Just for Laughs Festival), Ryan Connor & Joe List (Comedy Central’s Live at Gotham).  42nd and 10th ave @ 9 pm.  Drink specials and no cover.